tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6949336701627312683.post7095167870279854326..comments2009-06-30T14:03:14.726-04:00Mothering4Moneyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11997640642902352560noreply@blogger.comBlogger3125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6949336701627312683.post-41705398711958150462009-06-30T14:02:32.516-04:002009-06-30T14:02:32.516-04:00Yes, it is disgusting. Here there used to be lots of kids lingering in care. It was not unusual for a child to spend their entire life in foster care, never receiving permanency. So I understand them seeing a need for change and actively seeking TPR when a case has gone on for years with no success. I understand the desire to adopt out these kids so that they can have a stable forever home, if the birth families just can&#39;t get it together. But why set a number that has to be met? Why give extra money to the department for doing more adoptions than the base number? How in the world does that help the kids? It&#39;s obvious the person in charge of making these rules, regulations, and laws have no first hand experience working with the children.Mothering4Moneyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11997640642902352560noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6949336701627312683.post-13864594592627659672009-06-30T13:15:22.195-04:002009-06-30T13:15:22.195-04:00I just wanted to make a comment about what you said about adoption quotas. Thank you for saying that and talking about reunification with biological parents should be the ultimate goal. You are the first foster care giver that has ever said anything like that. It gives me hope that that things might be turning around for the better for both bios and fosters. Good luck though on trying to make sense of it. Pigs WILL grow wings and fly before you&#39;ll do that. Nothing CPS does makes sense. They fail children on every level.<br /><br />It sounds to me like you actually care about the children that you have fostered and you did spend money of them for things other than just necessities. Unfortunately, not all foster care givers are like this. They&#39;re in it for the money and for nothing else. I wish there were more like you, especially who realize what CPS is really doing. <br /><br />Have the parental rights of Baby Boy been terminated? If he&#39;s safe in your care and happy, what&#39;s the big deal? Is there a chance that he can go back to his natural parents? I am very much a parental rights advocate but I am also not naive enough to believe that all bios are wonderful. I know different. I read all kinds of articles and posts about real and foster parents who beat, rape, torture and even kill the children in their care. It&#39;s senseless because most of the time CPS is involved in that family IF it&#39;s a bio family and if it&#39;s a foster care giver, then CPS is ALWAYS involved.<br /><br />Reunification should always be the goal as bios often turn their lives around. I also know that it&#39;s not always feasible and safe to do so. Only after every avenue for reunifying has been exhausted do I believe in adoption out of the foster care system. I also do not think there should be financial incentives given to CPS to do this. It should be a last resort only but with all the $$$ they stand to make, most reunification plans are a joke. You seem to realize this. You&#39;re the first. It really does give me hope. <br /><br />One bit of advice, foster a bond between the bio and the child even if they can&#39;t be in his life. The reason I say this is most likely at some point he will go looking for his natural parents. If you&#39;ve told them they love and care for him but just can&#39;t take care of him, it will boost his self-esteem. No child wants to feel like their real parents didn&#39;t love them. If they&#39;re bad, he&#39;ll determine that all on his own too. However, if they have turned their life around, he will resent you for that. It could ruin your relationship with him as an adult. I hope you will think about this. I know it firsthand because it happened to me.Brendahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14453734054168347425noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6949336701627312683.post-79599782167005658072009-06-29T23:37:52.784-04:002009-06-29T23:37:52.784-04:00The adoption &quot;quota&quot; happens where I live, too. It makes me SICK. That is one of the reasons why I started researching and talking to people higher up in the system to begin with. They pushed, pushed these little cute kids TPR&#39;s and adoptions along speedy quick and then left the older kids to languish. Disgusting isn&#39;t it?Torinahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00992090842674056507noreply@blogger.com