Comments on Mothering4Money: Life in the bible belt

STILL laughing out loud at this part... 'I must be...

2009-05-26T22:56:56.030-04:00

STILL laughing out loud at this part... 'I must be taken to a local creek and dumped into nasty ass water to be reborn'.

awesome. although, full disclosure, i would be one of those christians. but, less american megachurchy, more church with the addicts (seriously, my youth group is never boring)... although it's the same God.

LOL Ali, we have got to meet one day! Cheryl, its...

2009-05-26T14:29:40.690-04:00

LOL Ali, we have got to meet one day!

Cheryl, its always interesting to read your viewpoint. Thanks!

Thorn, yes ... what I wrote elsewhere is key.

Tuba, that was listed as one of our weaknesses as well. Cheers!

Silk, this person means well but yes, it is a little suffocating at times to live in such an area where the majority believe this way and can't seem to accept any other viewpoint. Oh yeah, we're totally bonded by our past toenail biting secret. LOL

Foster Ima, Hopefully all will go well with your licensing. I think it says a lot about you that you are willing to celebrate Christmas if that is what the child(ren) in your home want. Hopefully they will reciprocate and be willing to learn about Jewish holidays as well.

To All, I continue to hold hope and think positive thoughts that this person in my life will have a change of heart and all will go well. But just in case, I'm also preparing for the alternative. I appreciate all of the support. It's encouraging. Thank you!

Oh how I wish I hadn't just lost a day and a half ...

2009-05-26T04:21:48.673-04:00

Oh how I wish I hadn't just lost a day and a half completely to travel and had more time to read and process and respond thoughtfully to this post and the really thoughtful comments!

So let me just say that:

1. I never learned how to diagram sentences and I can't say that I'm the worse for it, despite the lack of commas where needed in this comment. (For which my explanation is that my fingers are expressing the logorrhea that comes from my lack of sleep/jetlag, not a lack of proper English skills.) However, I remain envious of people who did learn the skill. I'm such a dork when it comes to grammar and punctuation that people tend not to believe me when I say that I don't even know what diagramming sentences is.

2. I really, really hope that my agency doesn't discriminate against me for not being Christian when the time comes. My Big City (I don't remember if that's what I call it in my blog) is pretty religiously conservative at least when it comes to the parts of the city that are more likely to be involved in the system. (Hello, stereotypes!) But we have also only one foster home for every four-plus kids in the system, so they kind of need me. I guess.

3. They'd better not discriminate against me because I already bought Christmas decorations for next year, and I'm not even licensed yet.

P.S. I love your blog, though I think this is my first time commenting.

as a christian, and believe me, it took a long tim...

2009-05-25T02:34:24.137-04:00

as a christian, and believe me, it took a long time for me to relate to the label, let me at least start by saying that what I BELIEVE is the woman who witnessed to you is an asshole. Perhaps my god would prefer that I use a less offensive term, and I am probably insulting someone you like, but lord that burns me up. My own journey to god was much delayed by people like that. MY personal faith tells me that we need to respect each other, and that an effective witness is one who uses their actions much more than their ability to lecture and be self righteous, and tell you how WRONG you are, and how CORRECT they are. Witnessing to your children, especially those who haven't reached the age of reason, with lectures that recommend dishonoring her parents, is just UNCONSCIONABLE.

Second, I'm going to be completely hypocritical, and tell you she is WRONG, and I am RIGHT, that as a christian, ever since god let adam choose whether or not to eat the apple, men have had freedom of will. I don't doubt that god can intervene, but we are responsible for our own choices. I have never believed that b/c god has a plan for my life, that he deliberately chooses for me to suffer. OK, I didn't come here to witness, so shutting up now. But I get so furious when I hear that other christians say that god chooses for the innocent to get hurt on purpose. I mean, who is really alienating who here? PS MY god will still love you if you don't dunk your butt in nasty water.

Third, there have been choices in my life that I made that I will never know whether or not they were right, I just tried to do the best I could with the information I had, and sometimes all possible outcomes are crappy, and I just try to find a way to live with it. We are doing extraordinary things by taking someone else's children into our homes, and so far I have hated all the times when I was forced to make a choice between my biological children's best interest, and the best interest of my non biological child. And while I believe those two things should be able to be harmonious, as you said, sometimes there are third parties that get a vote and refuse to let it be so. I have made choices where I was not happy with the outcomes, but I didn't know what else I could do that was in my control. Someone did in fact once tell me how DARE I put that "other" child ahead of my "own" kids. And it may have been the wrong choice, but it was one of small options I had at the time that seemed the least damaging. It did suck, but it seemed then to suck the least. I know what you mean by life altering, can't be undone kind of decisions, not yours specifically of course, but, pretty horrible areas between a rock and a hard place.

All I can say is, I hope you can find better mentors, or at least better friends. Someone who can be a little more supportive or at least a little more helpful. Good luck with your struggle.

I didn't like diagramming sentences, but I did/do like Robert Frost, so can I still be your friend?

I hear ya. Our worker wrote write in our homestudy...

2009-05-24T23:45:44.029-04:00

I hear ya. Our worker wrote write in our homestudy that our negative attribute as a family was that we were not religious and not active in a church. And why is that negative?? I just don't get it.

My dad tells me I will burn in hell, too. That will be tricky since I don't believe in hell. But if there is one, you and I can keep each other company while we sip our margaritas and sin endlessly ;)

New to this blog - very interesting ... I am Budd...

2009-05-24T11:31:33.981-04:00

New to this blog - very interesting ...
I am Buddhist - and I do also share your feelings and concerns here.

and - I remember diagramming sentences too -- I recall in school - being caught passing a note - and the teacher made me diagram the contents!!

I have grandchildren who DHS placed with MORMONS - who actively and aggressively prostelesized at them ... and when I complained - MY visitation rights were removed.

There is so much wrong with so much about the way this country treats the least among us.... (i.e., the children)

I'm sorry you didn't get advice or guidance from t...

2009-05-23T21:51:52.488-04:00

I'm sorry you didn't get advice or guidance from this friend. I think I know a little bit of what you're having to think about just from what you've said here and elsewhere, and I have full faith that you'll make the best decision even if it's hard.

And as an atheist in what may or may not be technically the Bible Belt (I think we're too heavily Catholic as an area to truly count, but we're borderline) I've somehow been able to avoid a lot of that kind of evangelizing but the little I have has been plenty. I don't think the people doing it have any idea how off-putting it is. Very frustrating from the outside, though.

Wow, lots of stuff in that post. I'll try to give...

2009-05-23T20:59:17.575-04:00

Wow, lots of stuff in that post. I'll try to give my opinion and response but I may have to read and comment several times to cover it all :) I'm not trying to win your agreement, just trying to share another point of view.

I'm sorry you are facing such difficult decisions. I'm sorry you were hurt by the person you chose to trust. I am a believer in the one true God, but not so much in religion. I think organized religion repels as many as it attracts. I'm suspicious of big churches, the 700 club etc. I have a love/hate relationship with that.

I understand why they do it but irks me when people decide to witness to people who come to them for help. People should realize that can just make people feel more confused, more alone. You can witness gently, you don't have to beat some troubled soul about the ears with the new testament.

I personally don't believe that God so much plans everything as knows everything. Like when you see your toddler trying to pull a full pitcher of tea off the refrigerator shelf-you know how it's going to end but it's their decision good or bad. Sometimes those decisions bless others, sometimes they rip people's lives apart.

I also believe in evolution from a creationist view. What better creation than one that can evolve to what's needed? As far as who created the deity...there are some things I just turn over to faith. I am only human, there are things I will never understand in this life and life is too short to waste my time trying to figure it all out. Some think it's an important question, I personally don't; to each their own.

I call God He because it is how it's written, how I was raised and eliminates confusion. I don't really "see" God as all that human anyway. Jesus, yes. God, no.

We agree on the religion thing, the hypocrisy and haughtiness of it. I personally don't believe in Buddah or Vishnu but everyone has the right to chose their own path.

Only recently has God been interpreted as nice and loving. In Jesus' day he was jealous and merciless. I think He's a bit of both, like any good parent :) I don't think you'll burn for perfume, God is forgiving of much worse if you ask. I think for anyone to presume they what heaven or hell will be like and force that image on others is presumptuous. The Bible is somewhat vague on specifics, it speaks in metaphors. And I personally believe it's incomplete, I don't think we've found all the books. And some have supposedly been repressed like the book of St. Thomas.

To everything thing else, I think it's hard to know what's right because there are so many paths and who's to say what's right? You know how when the day goes all wrong, nothing is the way you expected or wanted but overall nothing bad happened, everyone was happy and all was well? That's what I think life is like. There are some decisions that can bring your life crashing down around your ears, but those are usually few and far between. We mostly have different paths to choose from, most of them end up in Okay-ville, it's just the scenery that's different, ya know?

Sorry, no luck alienating me. I plan to keep reading :)

ps. i loved diagramming sentences too and i live ...

2009-05-23T20:16:52.528-04:00

ps.
i loved diagramming sentences too and i live where robert frost grew up.

lol i love you and we are SO MUCH ALIKE! you will ...

2009-05-23T20:14:54.184-04:00

lol i love you and we are SO MUCH ALIKE!
you will know what to do.