Alternate Title: Since when is three kids a large family? Afterall, it's only .5 more than your average household.
I have been getting comments lately about the size of my family, or rather the number of my kids. There's only three of them, so it's not like I have a baseball team or anything, though I admit to wanting one ... or two. What makes these comments so odd is that they are usually from other people who also have three kids. It feels like a discrimination against adopted kids. When I have foster kids with me, it is worse, the people commenting actually seem to double or triple the number of children I have.
At my daughter's school recently, another mom with three kids said "Where's all your kids?" to which I replied "Where's all yours?" and she said "Oh, I've only got three."
At a restaurant that we frequent quite often and have done so consistently for almost 7 years, the waitress we almost always get said "Aren't you missing a bunch of people?" The only person missing was Darwin, who hasn't been to the restaurant with us in 2 years. None of the last 4 or 5 foster kids had even been to the restaurant with us because they tend to go out with friends on the night we eat at the restaurant. None of my kids were missing. And for once, all three of them were actually being decent.
At the horse farm someone said "How many kids DO you have?" and when I said "Three permanent, one foster but about to go home." she sang out "One is the magic number" as she walked away. Granted, she only has one kid and maybe to her having three really is Duggaresq.
Sometimes people say things like "Didn't know they were going to bring their ten kids with them." or "Wow. Look at all those kids." when I'm getting all my kids out of the momvan. This is usually said when I have foster kids and it is almost always said loud enough that we can hear. Wonder how it makes the kids feel?
My conclusion:
3 bio kids = 3 kids
3 adopted kids = 6 kids
3 foster kids = 9 kids
or
1 bio, 2 adopted, 1 foster = 8 kids unless two are in a stroller, then it = 10 kids
or
People are mean. And stupid. And Judgy McJudgerPants.
Tuesday, August 24, 2010
Monday, August 23, 2010
Introducing Butterscotch the Dog
In July a stray came into our yard and never left. TheDaughter named him Butterscotch.
He proceeded to be spastic and rarely sit still. He enjoys jumping on the kids and biting their clothes. Butterscotch can not contain his excitement at seeing people. He must jump! Jump! JUMP!
He eats everything. Several cans of dog food per day plus several cups of dry dog food and about a gazillion treats. That's not even counting all the porch railings, children's shoes, window screens, and tennis balls that he consumes every day. By the way he licks the glass on the front door, you would think he has an affection for the taste of Windex as well.
And then we willingly added two more puppies. The one pictured here is Sparkles. He'll be featured another time.
He proceeded to be spastic and rarely sit still. He enjoys jumping on the kids and biting their clothes. Butterscotch can not contain his excitement at seeing people. He must jump! Jump! JUMP!
He eats everything. Several cans of dog food per day plus several cups of dry dog food and about a gazillion treats. That's not even counting all the porch railings, children's shoes, window screens, and tennis balls that he consumes every day. By the way he licks the glass on the front door, you would think he has an affection for the taste of Windex as well.
And then we willingly added two more puppies. The one pictured here is Sparkles. He'll be featured another time.
Friday, August 20, 2010
I'm Radioactive Y'all
Doesn't that just make you wanna give me a hug? Come on over, I'll be radioactive for three whole days! I'm so great I even shit radioactive material, and boy do I ever shit a lot. Between the blood pressure medicine (now on two different kinds!) and the metformin, the bathroom is the new place to be. It's where it's at, yo.
BP hit 207 today. You know it's serious when the cardiologist runs into the room, literally. I could see relief on his face when he saw me smiling and talking up a storm. Truthfully, I felt like poo though better than I do right now (god my head is killing me and i can't sleep because of the nausea) but because I have to be valedictorian of everything, I had to rock that stress test.
Next up, echocardiagram. Then, fun with catheters and dyes (that other family members have had severe allergic reactions to and almost died from). So much fun!
P.S. Coke Zero
tastes like ass. Okay, not really, but it does taste like diet soda which I think is nasty. That aftertaste lingers all. day. long. I'd rather have only a teaspoon of the real deal than suffer through a can of that Zero stuff.
Nasty. Nasty Stuff. Oh, oh, Zero Coke. You taste gross to me.
What? You don't channel your inner Janet Jackson at completely random times? Hmph.
BP hit 207 today. You know it's serious when the cardiologist runs into the room, literally. I could see relief on his face when he saw me smiling and talking up a storm. Truthfully, I felt like poo though better than I do right now (god my head is killing me and i can't sleep because of the nausea) but because I have to be valedictorian of everything, I had to rock that stress test.
Next up, echocardiagram. Then, fun with catheters and dyes (that other family members have had severe allergic reactions to and almost died from). So much fun!
P.S. Coke Zero
tastes like ass. Okay, not really, but it does taste like diet soda which I think is nasty. That aftertaste lingers all. day. long. I'd rather have only a teaspoon of the real deal than suffer through a can of that Zero stuff. Nasty. Nasty Stuff. Oh, oh, Zero Coke. You taste gross to me.
What? You don't channel your inner Janet Jackson at completely random times? Hmph.
Thursday, August 19, 2010
Why I Haven't Blogged
And probably won't for a few more days at least. I hope to resume a decent posting schedule starting Monday.
It's been a week, only a week, and yet so much has happened that I don't know where to begin.
One bit of advice: If your heart hurts and then you get pains in your upper back and your blood pressure is consistently high but particularly so on that day (184), go to the ER like your doctor/friend/family advises. Don't hesitate. Do. NOT. Hesitate. GO!
Don't drive an hour to Chuck E Cheese just because you promised your kids you would take them and had already canceled once because of fatigue and pains and didn't want to disappoint them again. Don't keep saying "I don't have time. I can't miss her first day of 2nd grade or her 7th birthday. I don't have anyone to keep the kids. I have to take BabyGirl to her well child appointment tomorrow. I can't go to the ER, they'll admit me."
Because that was what I did and now I have irreversible damage done to my body and I am only 34 years old. Yes, they tend to admit patients who are having heart attack symptoms. Yes, you will miss a few days or weeks worth of stuff, but the alternative is missing the rest of your kids lives. Also, driving yourself there is so much cheaper than riding in that big truck with flashing lights.
I want to see my kids grow up.
I spent so much time blaming being tired on lack of sleep due to having a new baby, or to keeping up with 3 or 4 kids. I thought the weight gain was because I quit walking daily because BabyGirl was born and (though we shelled out big bucks for a double stroller, the wheels fell off before we ever used it and I can't fix them) I quit exercising. I thought the night sweats and dry skin was hormonal, perhaps menopause was sneaking up faster than I had anticipated. I thought the bloating was from PCOS and most likely a large cyst. I thought stress was causing most of the other stuff. My own mother, even now after all the tests and shit, insist that all of this is just because I'm going through the change of life and because I overthink things and stress too much. No mom, that's not it.
Another problem was that Doc 1 would do tests and not call me with results. I wouldn't find out I had XYZ (Type 2 Diabetes) until I called them asking for results, which would end with them referring me to Doc 2. She treated me for XYZ and diagnosed ABC (Hypertension) which referred me to Doc 3. She also ran a test (checking function of kidneys - can't think of it's name right now) and didn't call me with results. This was all over a span of MONTHS and MONTHS. Doc 3 was so busy with his God Complex and having his doors widened so his head would fit through them, that he couldn't see me for a month. Then when he did finally grace me with his presence (4 hours in the waiting room), he blamed my weight gain on lack of exercise due to new baby and stress. He then proceeded to inquire as to why I felt the need to adopt. Really? WTF!?! And some other odd questions pertaining to things that have NOTHING to do with cardiology. Because of my young age and apparently gullible appearance he thought he could just send me on my merry way. Until he listened to my heart. Oh my. What is that? Lets run some more test! What? A catheter where? Goody!
He also said Here's some free samples. Take them. Because I said so. I had to come home and Google the shit to find out it doesn't jive with my diabetic medication. You know, like if only I would have gotten my test results from Doc 1 before he saw fit to place me on Birth Control Pills which didn't jive well with my ABC diagnosis and subsequently led to my visit with Crazy Town.
Speaking of The Crazy.
You all know my family has plenty of The Crazy to go around, but I write most about my sister who suffers from schizophrenia. I sounded so PC just then, but we really say "She's schizophrenic." because you know, she is. And a while back she had a relapse. I actually wrote about it but it's still in drafts. Anyway, she went to the ER because the CSU has been shut down and the local mental health clinic serves two counties and only has one doctor and one therapist and can't get you an appointment for like 6 months from the date you relapse. By then, what the fuck is the point? But the ER doc took my sister completely off one of her medications. He claimed it was the reason she was having the relapse. He said it was due to known side effects. I did not go to the ER because I have the kids, but whichever of our parents that went didn't speak up enough to say "Hey she has been on this med for YEARS. It's this other stuff that is going on, not the med." See my sister wasn't sleeping, and she had been eating lots of chocolate and drinking soda, AND she was about to get her period. Also, it was a full moon and she had just began taking BC pills. These are all triggers for her. What she needed was to be sedated and sent home to sleep.
A note to all ER doctors everywhere: Do not take a schizophrenic off her antipsychotic medication and then send her home to wait two months until her next appointment with mental health. I get that psychiatry isn't your specialty, but come on, where is the common sense?
My sister has been ... interesting as of late. She is painting her walls a lighter color because the darker color she painted them (when she was stable) was too morose. Her TV has aluminum foil. Her cats, whom she adores when she is stable, have been evicted. Her place smells. She is off in lala land much of the time. Her eyes are spacey and red and bulging. I took her to the store in the middle of the day, and she had on old torn PJs with two bras under a thin white camisole top. She is agitated. A lot.
To add to the padded wall fun, my dad has amped up his particular brand of The Crazy. He was already spending large chunks of his day worrying that he was dying of something, but now he is certain that he and my mother have caused me and my kids to catch this mysterious illness. And no, not The Crazy, as they did cause that genetically by breeding, but this mysterious illness that is all encompassing that he knows that doctors know what it is but they won't tell him because it is a conspiracy. He has been to four doctors. All of them have ran tests and he appears to be completely physically healthy. One of the docs put him on antianxiety meds and they work if he takes them. If he takes the full dose he is too happy. Like drunk I love everyone happy. If he takes half the dose, he is actually normal. But once he feels normal again, he goes off the medication, and straight back to Crazy Town. He won't talk to his friends because they are lying or stealing or whatever. They are up to no good. The government and his old employer and everyone else is out to get him. His old coworkers got more money than him. He and some of his coworkers caught something from working at that place and that's what they are spreading around. Sometimes he thinks it is AIDS. He has been on the AIDS rampage since I was a preteen. We all get tested every flipping year and we are all negative and yet he still doesn't believe it. But his fingernail is bent so he has some mysterious illness. My heart problems? TheDaughter's perpetual sickness while in school? His mysterious illness rubbed off on me and the kids when he hugged us. Now we are all gonna die.
You might can see why I can't go to the ER because I don't have anyone to keep the kids.
Frienemy wants them to be her own. Another acquaintance, upon learning of my health issues, asked if I were to die if Darwin would raise the younger two kids or if he would place them back into foster care (she wasn't that crass, but that was the gist of her questions). She was interested in adopting them or being their guardian. My best friend is about to be a grandma for the 2nd time and she is in a funk because her and her boyfriend split up again and she is not a kid person anyway. When push comes to shove, I really don't have that many people I truly trust with my kids.
Anyway ...
School started and immediately I didn't like TheDaughter's teacher. Well, that was at orientation which was days before the first day of school. On the first day, TheDaughter decided she didn't like her class this year. She LOVES school. She loves being around her peers. Loves meeting new people. Loves learning. And looks forward to getting a new teacher every year. But this year, she hates it. Cries and does not want to go in the school building. On the first day of school, two boys in her class pinned her to the locker and tried to kiss her. One hugged her against her will. She is the youngest in her class at 6 years old, but the boys at 7 and maybe 8 years old should not be doing that, period. The second day of school the teacher who is pregnant and about to pop had to leave and a sub finished out the day. A sub who was clueless. On the third day of school another sub came, the old fart of a retired teacher who simply should not be around small children anymore, and she made many of the kids cry, including TheDaughter. We had problems with this sub in previous years as well. On the fourth day of school the teacher returned to school and finally papers were sent home, many with expiration dates or due dates that had already passed because they didn't come home in time. The teacher failed to stop the boys from sexually harrassing TheDaughter again, even after it was called to her attention. And, she made TheDaughter move her sticker for talking and threatened her with a silent lunch ... when she was just speaking to tell the kids at her table to leave her alone. The other kids were whispering to her which was distracting and then she would say "Stop talking to me" and "leave me alone" but in a normal decibel voice and she was the one who got into trouble. I'm not a parent who thinks my kids are perfect, goodness knows I volunteer at the school enough to see my kid get in trouble legitimately, but this was uncalled for. That night TheDaughter woke up crying. She had a fever, sore throat, ear ache, and kept saying she needed to go to the bathroom but never puked or pooped.
Days 5 and 6 of school were excused by the doctor. A doctor who ignored me when I said that we frequently come in to teh office and they tell us she doesn't have Strep but her "cold" doesn't go away so we ultimately have to go back and voila she tests positive for Strep. I don't know why the Strep isn't picked up on her first test or the overnight culture, but it just isn't. I don't know why her immune system sucks so badly that she catches every fucking germ in the whole goddamned school of 1600 kids grade 1 to 4, but it does. You would think that would be the MDs job ... to figure out that shit. My job as a mom is to KNOW MY CHILD and ADVOCATE FOR HER and so when I tell you that you are wasting my time, energy, money, etc by sending us home without an antibiotic for us to return in 3 days for the Rx, then just give us the damn thing already. It is a 45 min to one hour drive one-way to her pediatrician's office. The copay is $25 dollars. The wait is 2 to 4 hours long. I have to either get a babysitter or take all three kids with me to sit in the germ infested sick child room and catch even more crap. Then in three days, I have to do it all over again, of course paying the $25 co-pay again. Because ultimately, she does have Strep.
Did I mention that we got three dogs? We had a stray puppy come up and TheDaughter named him Butterscotch. He is about a year old, I think. He looks a lot like Dooce's Chuck but acts like CoCo. He chews on everything, even the porch rail and my flower pots. All of the decorative lawn items have been chewed to pieces. He bites the glass on the front door. He makes hyperactivity look relaxed. Then at horse camp, we brought home two puppies. They were not fully weaned so we thought two would keep them from crying all the time. TheDaughter wasn't supposed to get dogs until the cat passed away. The cat hasn't passed, but I threw her ass outside. She will pee in the litter box, but she poops all over the house, mainly in TheDaughter's room. On her mattress, in her closet, in my bathroom, in the guest bathroom, down the air vent, in the middle of the floor, etc. This just started this year. I thought maybe the cat was just getting old. Or maybe she was tired of us adding people to the family. Or tired of being picked on by the people we keep adding to the family. But the dogs chase her so I feel sorry for her and let her back inside, where she proceeds to poop everywhere and piss me off.
Had to buy TheDaughter a new mattress to the tune of $750 because of that damn cat.
BabyBoy is a little tazmanian devil. If it weren't for his sweet cherub face and occasional breaks of actual progress, I think I would just pinch his head off. He says very little words, has massive rages, is defiant and destructive, and has the attention span of a gnat. He is awake and going wide open by 3am every morning. Early intervention is on the horizon.
BabyGirl has only gained 1 pound in three months. She is 8 months and can't sit up or crawl. We begin assessments of her next month and will proceed with some FASD stuff as her facial features kinda lean that way (and mom admitted to some alcohol use).
I've not heard from Jenny or her mother since the day I didn't give them the money for the drug test. CPS hasn't let me know how they are doing either. I would love to know if Jenny actually went to soccer practice, if she is still in gymnastics, and how she is doing in school.
That stuff from my Backlash post? It will never get resolved. It's all politics and people playing God. I got another mark against me for it, but oh well. CPS has placed kids with people who aren't foster parents but will be going through the next class. The reason? Because they don't have any empty homes. Bullshit. We have over 20 completely empty. I have to let that stress go for now though.
Speaking of stress, Darwin's job is having contract issues. Boy wouldn't that suck to loose our $1300 a month health insurance at a time like this. Or the ability to pay that outrageous amount. Gah! I guess that would be better than loosing him though (who goes to a war zone without life insurance?) which was an actual too close for comfort situation not too long ago (read the news - last month was bad over there).
TheDaughter turned 7 and now she wears bras. OMG when did my baby grow up? And when did puberty start so Fing early?
Even though it has been 100 degrees dang near every day, we haven't been able to swim in the pool in weeks. It's probably turning green anyway.
All the clothes are clean, but they are in baskets on the kitchen table. The dishes, not so much. And CPS is on their way to do our annual renewal homevisit complete with the buttload of paperwork we have to complete.
Stress? What stress?
It's been a week, only a week, and yet so much has happened that I don't know where to begin.
One bit of advice: If your heart hurts and then you get pains in your upper back and your blood pressure is consistently high but particularly so on that day (184), go to the ER like your doctor/friend/family advises. Don't hesitate. Do. NOT. Hesitate. GO!
Don't drive an hour to Chuck E Cheese just because you promised your kids you would take them and had already canceled once because of fatigue and pains and didn't want to disappoint them again. Don't keep saying "I don't have time. I can't miss her first day of 2nd grade or her 7th birthday. I don't have anyone to keep the kids. I have to take BabyGirl to her well child appointment tomorrow. I can't go to the ER, they'll admit me."
Because that was what I did and now I have irreversible damage done to my body and I am only 34 years old. Yes, they tend to admit patients who are having heart attack symptoms. Yes, you will miss a few days or weeks worth of stuff, but the alternative is missing the rest of your kids lives. Also, driving yourself there is so much cheaper than riding in that big truck with flashing lights.
I want to see my kids grow up.
I spent so much time blaming being tired on lack of sleep due to having a new baby, or to keeping up with 3 or 4 kids. I thought the weight gain was because I quit walking daily because BabyGirl was born and (though we shelled out big bucks for a double stroller, the wheels fell off before we ever used it and I can't fix them) I quit exercising. I thought the night sweats and dry skin was hormonal, perhaps menopause was sneaking up faster than I had anticipated. I thought the bloating was from PCOS and most likely a large cyst. I thought stress was causing most of the other stuff. My own mother, even now after all the tests and shit, insist that all of this is just because I'm going through the change of life and because I overthink things and stress too much. No mom, that's not it.
Another problem was that Doc 1 would do tests and not call me with results. I wouldn't find out I had XYZ (Type 2 Diabetes) until I called them asking for results, which would end with them referring me to Doc 2. She treated me for XYZ and diagnosed ABC (Hypertension) which referred me to Doc 3. She also ran a test (checking function of kidneys - can't think of it's name right now) and didn't call me with results. This was all over a span of MONTHS and MONTHS. Doc 3 was so busy with his God Complex and having his doors widened so his head would fit through them, that he couldn't see me for a month. Then when he did finally grace me with his presence (4 hours in the waiting room), he blamed my weight gain on lack of exercise due to new baby and stress. He then proceeded to inquire as to why I felt the need to adopt. Really? WTF!?! And some other odd questions pertaining to things that have NOTHING to do with cardiology. Because of my young age and apparently gullible appearance he thought he could just send me on my merry way. Until he listened to my heart. Oh my. What is that? Lets run some more test! What? A catheter where? Goody!
He also said Here's some free samples. Take them. Because I said so. I had to come home and Google the shit to find out it doesn't jive with my diabetic medication. You know, like if only I would have gotten my test results from Doc 1 before he saw fit to place me on Birth Control Pills which didn't jive well with my ABC diagnosis and subsequently led to my visit with Crazy Town.
Speaking of The Crazy.
You all know my family has plenty of The Crazy to go around, but I write most about my sister who suffers from schizophrenia. I sounded so PC just then, but we really say "She's schizophrenic." because you know, she is. And a while back she had a relapse. I actually wrote about it but it's still in drafts. Anyway, she went to the ER because the CSU has been shut down and the local mental health clinic serves two counties and only has one doctor and one therapist and can't get you an appointment for like 6 months from the date you relapse. By then, what the fuck is the point? But the ER doc took my sister completely off one of her medications. He claimed it was the reason she was having the relapse. He said it was due to known side effects. I did not go to the ER because I have the kids, but whichever of our parents that went didn't speak up enough to say "Hey she has been on this med for YEARS. It's this other stuff that is going on, not the med." See my sister wasn't sleeping, and she had been eating lots of chocolate and drinking soda, AND she was about to get her period. Also, it was a full moon and she had just began taking BC pills. These are all triggers for her. What she needed was to be sedated and sent home to sleep.
A note to all ER doctors everywhere: Do not take a schizophrenic off her antipsychotic medication and then send her home to wait two months until her next appointment with mental health. I get that psychiatry isn't your specialty, but come on, where is the common sense?
My sister has been ... interesting as of late. She is painting her walls a lighter color because the darker color she painted them (when she was stable) was too morose. Her TV has aluminum foil. Her cats, whom she adores when she is stable, have been evicted. Her place smells. She is off in lala land much of the time. Her eyes are spacey and red and bulging. I took her to the store in the middle of the day, and she had on old torn PJs with two bras under a thin white camisole top. She is agitated. A lot.
To add to the padded wall fun, my dad has amped up his particular brand of The Crazy. He was already spending large chunks of his day worrying that he was dying of something, but now he is certain that he and my mother have caused me and my kids to catch this mysterious illness. And no, not The Crazy, as they did cause that genetically by breeding, but this mysterious illness that is all encompassing that he knows that doctors know what it is but they won't tell him because it is a conspiracy. He has been to four doctors. All of them have ran tests and he appears to be completely physically healthy. One of the docs put him on antianxiety meds and they work if he takes them. If he takes the full dose he is too happy. Like drunk I love everyone happy. If he takes half the dose, he is actually normal. But once he feels normal again, he goes off the medication, and straight back to Crazy Town. He won't talk to his friends because they are lying or stealing or whatever. They are up to no good. The government and his old employer and everyone else is out to get him. His old coworkers got more money than him. He and some of his coworkers caught something from working at that place and that's what they are spreading around. Sometimes he thinks it is AIDS. He has been on the AIDS rampage since I was a preteen. We all get tested every flipping year and we are all negative and yet he still doesn't believe it. But his fingernail is bent so he has some mysterious illness. My heart problems? TheDaughter's perpetual sickness while in school? His mysterious illness rubbed off on me and the kids when he hugged us. Now we are all gonna die.
You might can see why I can't go to the ER because I don't have anyone to keep the kids.
Frienemy wants them to be her own. Another acquaintance, upon learning of my health issues, asked if I were to die if Darwin would raise the younger two kids or if he would place them back into foster care (she wasn't that crass, but that was the gist of her questions). She was interested in adopting them or being their guardian. My best friend is about to be a grandma for the 2nd time and she is in a funk because her and her boyfriend split up again and she is not a kid person anyway. When push comes to shove, I really don't have that many people I truly trust with my kids.
Anyway ...
School started and immediately I didn't like TheDaughter's teacher. Well, that was at orientation which was days before the first day of school. On the first day, TheDaughter decided she didn't like her class this year. She LOVES school. She loves being around her peers. Loves meeting new people. Loves learning. And looks forward to getting a new teacher every year. But this year, she hates it. Cries and does not want to go in the school building. On the first day of school, two boys in her class pinned her to the locker and tried to kiss her. One hugged her against her will. She is the youngest in her class at 6 years old, but the boys at 7 and maybe 8 years old should not be doing that, period. The second day of school the teacher who is pregnant and about to pop had to leave and a sub finished out the day. A sub who was clueless. On the third day of school another sub came, the old fart of a retired teacher who simply should not be around small children anymore, and she made many of the kids cry, including TheDaughter. We had problems with this sub in previous years as well. On the fourth day of school the teacher returned to school and finally papers were sent home, many with expiration dates or due dates that had already passed because they didn't come home in time. The teacher failed to stop the boys from sexually harrassing TheDaughter again, even after it was called to her attention. And, she made TheDaughter move her sticker for talking and threatened her with a silent lunch ... when she was just speaking to tell the kids at her table to leave her alone. The other kids were whispering to her which was distracting and then she would say "Stop talking to me" and "leave me alone" but in a normal decibel voice and she was the one who got into trouble. I'm not a parent who thinks my kids are perfect, goodness knows I volunteer at the school enough to see my kid get in trouble legitimately, but this was uncalled for. That night TheDaughter woke up crying. She had a fever, sore throat, ear ache, and kept saying she needed to go to the bathroom but never puked or pooped.
Days 5 and 6 of school were excused by the doctor. A doctor who ignored me when I said that we frequently come in to teh office and they tell us she doesn't have Strep but her "cold" doesn't go away so we ultimately have to go back and voila she tests positive for Strep. I don't know why the Strep isn't picked up on her first test or the overnight culture, but it just isn't. I don't know why her immune system sucks so badly that she catches every fucking germ in the whole goddamned school of 1600 kids grade 1 to 4, but it does. You would think that would be the MDs job ... to figure out that shit. My job as a mom is to KNOW MY CHILD and ADVOCATE FOR HER and so when I tell you that you are wasting my time, energy, money, etc by sending us home without an antibiotic for us to return in 3 days for the Rx, then just give us the damn thing already. It is a 45 min to one hour drive one-way to her pediatrician's office. The copay is $25 dollars. The wait is 2 to 4 hours long. I have to either get a babysitter or take all three kids with me to sit in the germ infested sick child room and catch even more crap. Then in three days, I have to do it all over again, of course paying the $25 co-pay again. Because ultimately, she does have Strep.
Did I mention that we got three dogs? We had a stray puppy come up and TheDaughter named him Butterscotch. He is about a year old, I think. He looks a lot like Dooce's Chuck but acts like CoCo. He chews on everything, even the porch rail and my flower pots. All of the decorative lawn items have been chewed to pieces. He bites the glass on the front door. He makes hyperactivity look relaxed. Then at horse camp, we brought home two puppies. They were not fully weaned so we thought two would keep them from crying all the time. TheDaughter wasn't supposed to get dogs until the cat passed away. The cat hasn't passed, but I threw her ass outside. She will pee in the litter box, but she poops all over the house, mainly in TheDaughter's room. On her mattress, in her closet, in my bathroom, in the guest bathroom, down the air vent, in the middle of the floor, etc. This just started this year. I thought maybe the cat was just getting old. Or maybe she was tired of us adding people to the family. Or tired of being picked on by the people we keep adding to the family. But the dogs chase her so I feel sorry for her and let her back inside, where she proceeds to poop everywhere and piss me off.
Had to buy TheDaughter a new mattress to the tune of $750 because of that damn cat.
BabyBoy is a little tazmanian devil. If it weren't for his sweet cherub face and occasional breaks of actual progress, I think I would just pinch his head off. He says very little words, has massive rages, is defiant and destructive, and has the attention span of a gnat. He is awake and going wide open by 3am every morning. Early intervention is on the horizon.
BabyGirl has only gained 1 pound in three months. She is 8 months and can't sit up or crawl. We begin assessments of her next month and will proceed with some FASD stuff as her facial features kinda lean that way (and mom admitted to some alcohol use).
I've not heard from Jenny or her mother since the day I didn't give them the money for the drug test. CPS hasn't let me know how they are doing either. I would love to know if Jenny actually went to soccer practice, if she is still in gymnastics, and how she is doing in school.
That stuff from my Backlash post? It will never get resolved. It's all politics and people playing God. I got another mark against me for it, but oh well. CPS has placed kids with people who aren't foster parents but will be going through the next class. The reason? Because they don't have any empty homes. Bullshit. We have over 20 completely empty. I have to let that stress go for now though.
Speaking of stress, Darwin's job is having contract issues. Boy wouldn't that suck to loose our $1300 a month health insurance at a time like this. Or the ability to pay that outrageous amount. Gah! I guess that would be better than loosing him though (who goes to a war zone without life insurance?) which was an actual too close for comfort situation not too long ago (read the news - last month was bad over there).
TheDaughter turned 7 and now she wears bras. OMG when did my baby grow up? And when did puberty start so Fing early?
Even though it has been 100 degrees dang near every day, we haven't been able to swim in the pool in weeks. It's probably turning green anyway.
All the clothes are clean, but they are in baskets on the kitchen table. The dishes, not so much. And CPS is on their way to do our annual renewal homevisit complete with the buttload of paperwork we have to complete.
Stress? What stress?
Thursday, August 12, 2010
The Cheerleader is no longer homeless
My childhood frienemy called to let me know that The Cheerleader has moved into an apartment above frienemy's InLaws garage. She needs it to be furnished though, which is why frienemy called me, so I could help buy The Cheerleader's HHGs. She chose to be semi-homeless rather then come back here to live (spending the night with different people when G'ma wouldn't let her stay there anymore). The Cheerleader doesn't contact me much, though she is civil when I contact her. She rejected everything I tried to teach her about living independently. She only works part time on the weekend and doesn't go to college. But, they have no problem calling me for handouts. I just can't do it. Part of me is still hurt that she took to frienemy so quickly, and couldn't get away from me fast enough. Believe it or not, there is a limit and I've reached it. I'm tired of people taking advantage.
Wednesday, August 11, 2010
Where a kid can be a kid
Of course the first game she ran to was this one. She only stopped long enough to play games that earned tickets. Three hundred eighty three tickets to be exact. Which at Chuck E Cheese will get you 1) a miniature notebook, 2) some cotton candy, and 3 lip gloss with glitter inside.
Tuesday, August 10, 2010
Jenny is enrolled in school
I called Jenny's house (because her cell phone isn't working - wonder where that money went?) to let them know about soccer practice. Her brother answered the phone (you know, the one who isn't supposed to be living there). I asked for Jenny. Her mother got on the phone. She said that the caseworker said I was going to pay for Jenny's extracurricular activities for the rest of the year. What I said was that I would pay for the rest of this month, except for soccer which is paid through the season. She also said CPS was sending her the check, they were in the process of redirecting it. And when I asked about gymnastics, she said Jenny went to pick up her jewelry but didn't stay "because of her fractured ankle". Jenny's mother didn't like her taking gymnastics. She said it was too risky physically. Jenny's ankle is not fractured. Why should I pay for an activity that she isn't allowed to go to anymore? Then I asked about school and she told me Jenny would be in 7th grade (she is 15 years old and supposed to be in 10th). I said that I bet Jenny was excited to go back to school and wear all her new clothes. Her mother replied that she didn't have any new clothes and then she said "We'll keep in touch. Thanks for calling. Bye." I never got to talk to Jenny. But hey, at least she is enrolled in school.
Monday, August 9, 2010
At it again
BirthDad text'd today that they are expecting again. This is #7 for them together. BirthDad has 2 more by 2 other BabyMamas. They are leaving the state. They claim to have gotten a 250k settlement. I wish them well, hope they manage their money wisely, and for the baby's sake hope they don't drink alcohol or do drugs during this pregnancy. But, honestly, I figure it is his attempt at manipulation. BirthMom is on probation until October and can't leave the state. And he is saying they want to see the kids to say goodbye. Wonder what it would be like if they spent half their baby-making energy actually getting mental health help?
Friday, August 6, 2010
Proof in the Pudding ... or pictures
These were from a shopping trip in May. By July Jenny had grown out of the pink plaid and solid pink shorts but the two button up shirts still have the tags on them. She wore the gray skirt almost every Sunday to church. She hardly wore the white bra, but wore the black one almost every day ... under a white shirt, of course. 
This photo was taken in June. This is some of her short sleeve shirts, shorts, and pants.
The flip flops:
And those two bathing suits laying on top of the flooring (yes, another home project - please overlook it) were also things I purchased for her. She picked out the snakeskin print bikini at Walmart, but I bought her the one piece polka dot suit at Gap. There is also a pair of tennis shoes in this photo.
The first trip we made to buy things for her room. We added more and also bought stuff for her mother's room. The clothing basket was actually for her mother as we bought Jenny a matching basket. Basically everything that matches that bedroom set (brown with colorful flowers), we bought.
Jenny had a visit the day before court, so I had her pack up most of her things and take them ahead of time. This is what she left:
Obviously, this is not all of her clothes. It appears she took most of the summer items and left the long sleeved items.
I think you get the point.
This photo was taken in June. This is some of her short sleeve shirts, shorts, and pants.
The flip flops:
And those two bathing suits laying on top of the flooring (yes, another home project - please overlook it) were also things I purchased for her. She picked out the snakeskin print bikini at Walmart, but I bought her the one piece polka dot suit at Gap. There is also a pair of tennis shoes in this photo.The first trip we made to buy things for her room. We added more and also bought stuff for her mother's room. The clothing basket was actually for her mother as we bought Jenny a matching basket. Basically everything that matches that bedroom set (brown with colorful flowers), we bought.
Jenny had a visit the day before court, so I had her pack up most of her things and take them ahead of time. This is what she left:
Obviously, this is not all of her clothes. It appears she took most of the summer items and left the long sleeved items.I think you get the point.
Jenny Has Left The Building
Jenny got to move back in with her mother, so she is very happy. The weekend before she left, they had an overnight visit which was supposed to last only one night, but Jenny's mom called late on the day she was to return here and said they were going to see someone (yes, in the middle of the night) two hours away and she thought Jenny could just spend another night. They tend to expect things to go their way and therefor do more telling than asking. For example, Jenny had a church related homecoming event where she was instructed to wear a nice dress and heels, so she said "I thought I would wear that brown dress you bought for yourself that's hanging up on your door. I'll need some new shoes though." Or when she breaks something, she expects me to run out and buy her a new one, because she is immune to natural consequences apparently.
The day of court Jenny asked me when I was going to buy her school clothes. The $600 worth of clothing that we just bought that very same week was apparently not "school clothes" but "just clothes". And 10 pairs of flip flops, 4 pairs of tennis shoes, 2 pair of dress shoes, and 1 pair of sporty sandals weren't enough, because she asked for more shoes as well. I had also just bought her extra toiletries, makeup, personal care items, etc so that her mom wouldn't have to buy those things for at least a month after reunification. I bought a whole new bedroom set for Jenny complete with comforter, picture frames, wall decorations, matching clothing hamper, door mirror, desk, etc. I also got her mom a new comforter with matching curtains and throw pillows. She had four different backpacks for school as well, but she asked me to buy her another one in a different color but the same design. I bought her hair dye, took her to the movies every single weekend giving her a $20 bill every time, and paid to keep her cell phone turned on until I caught her texting with that boy from Skanks R Us trailer park. The day before court I bought Jenny two new shirts, she even wore one of them to court, but most of the clothes I bought her over the past several months were still unworn with tags attached.
They told the worker that Jenny didn't have school clothes. Manipulated their way into a couple of vouchers while simultaneously making me look bad. Not that I needed any help with that. The whole backlash thing still hasn't been resolved. Yeah, we had more meetings where promises were made, but so far none have been brought to fruition. And apparently I just can't keep my mouth shut because I managed to stick my foot in there again recently. Anyway ...
I did not report that jenny stayed more than one night with her mother. I did not tell CPS that Jenny's mom lost her job because the place closed down, again. I did not report that Jenny's siblings and their significant others are all living in the same trailer with Jenny and her mom, with nobody working. No, instead I was their cheerleader, trying to motivate Jenny's mom to keep working her case plan when it was clear she was about to give up. Sneaking to do unauthorized visits to keep their connection strong. Prepaying for extracurricular activities and volunteering to provide transportation so Jenny could keep active even though their money is tight and the one vehicle for the whole household belongs to Jenny's brother's girlfriend.
But that didn't stop them from calling me the day after Jenny went back home and telling me that I was supposed to give them the money that was left over from this months check. First of all, I haven't even gotten July's check, and second of all, I have spent a hell of a lot more money on Jenny than the check has covered so I don't owe anyone any money. Then they said for me to just bring them Jenny's new phone card which I hadn't purchased because she didn't go with us to either of the trips we had planned and I needed her to pick it out because I have no idea what kind of phone card she requires. So then Jenny's mom said that Jenny could just come over here long enough for me to take her to the store and buy her a phone card. Like I was just going to drop everything and make a special trip? Jenny and her sister were dropped off here by their brother and I had to inform them that I would not be taking anyone anywhere. I did give Jenny $46 to buy herself a phone card, and her reply was "It cost $46.56" to which I replied "Okay" and then stared at her and refused to hand over any more money. Jenny's sister asked for some Tylenol while Jenny used my phone to call their brother to come back and pick them up.
The whole thing makes me sad. We had such a good relationship. Jenny was really excited about going to all of our trips right before school started. Perhaps her mother has some feelings of resentment or fear that I will take jenny away? They made lots of negative comments about foster parents and part of the reason why I tried so hard to help them was to reshape their view of foster parents. Maybe that just can't be done.
Feeling very jaded as of late.
The day of court Jenny asked me when I was going to buy her school clothes. The $600 worth of clothing that we just bought that very same week was apparently not "school clothes" but "just clothes". And 10 pairs of flip flops, 4 pairs of tennis shoes, 2 pair of dress shoes, and 1 pair of sporty sandals weren't enough, because she asked for more shoes as well. I had also just bought her extra toiletries, makeup, personal care items, etc so that her mom wouldn't have to buy those things for at least a month after reunification. I bought a whole new bedroom set for Jenny complete with comforter, picture frames, wall decorations, matching clothing hamper, door mirror, desk, etc. I also got her mom a new comforter with matching curtains and throw pillows. She had four different backpacks for school as well, but she asked me to buy her another one in a different color but the same design. I bought her hair dye, took her to the movies every single weekend giving her a $20 bill every time, and paid to keep her cell phone turned on until I caught her texting with that boy from Skanks R Us trailer park. The day before court I bought Jenny two new shirts, she even wore one of them to court, but most of the clothes I bought her over the past several months were still unworn with tags attached.
They told the worker that Jenny didn't have school clothes. Manipulated their way into a couple of vouchers while simultaneously making me look bad. Not that I needed any help with that. The whole backlash thing still hasn't been resolved. Yeah, we had more meetings where promises were made, but so far none have been brought to fruition. And apparently I just can't keep my mouth shut because I managed to stick my foot in there again recently. Anyway ...
I did not report that jenny stayed more than one night with her mother. I did not tell CPS that Jenny's mom lost her job because the place closed down, again. I did not report that Jenny's siblings and their significant others are all living in the same trailer with Jenny and her mom, with nobody working. No, instead I was their cheerleader, trying to motivate Jenny's mom to keep working her case plan when it was clear she was about to give up. Sneaking to do unauthorized visits to keep their connection strong. Prepaying for extracurricular activities and volunteering to provide transportation so Jenny could keep active even though their money is tight and the one vehicle for the whole household belongs to Jenny's brother's girlfriend.
But that didn't stop them from calling me the day after Jenny went back home and telling me that I was supposed to give them the money that was left over from this months check. First of all, I haven't even gotten July's check, and second of all, I have spent a hell of a lot more money on Jenny than the check has covered so I don't owe anyone any money. Then they said for me to just bring them Jenny's new phone card which I hadn't purchased because she didn't go with us to either of the trips we had planned and I needed her to pick it out because I have no idea what kind of phone card she requires. So then Jenny's mom said that Jenny could just come over here long enough for me to take her to the store and buy her a phone card. Like I was just going to drop everything and make a special trip? Jenny and her sister were dropped off here by their brother and I had to inform them that I would not be taking anyone anywhere. I did give Jenny $46 to buy herself a phone card, and her reply was "It cost $46.56" to which I replied "Okay" and then stared at her and refused to hand over any more money. Jenny's sister asked for some Tylenol while Jenny used my phone to call their brother to come back and pick them up.
The whole thing makes me sad. We had such a good relationship. Jenny was really excited about going to all of our trips right before school started. Perhaps her mother has some feelings of resentment or fear that I will take jenny away? They made lots of negative comments about foster parents and part of the reason why I tried so hard to help them was to reshape their view of foster parents. Maybe that just can't be done.
Feeling very jaded as of late.
Thursday, August 5, 2010
Building Castles
Some of the wooden blocks
are from my childhood, which makes it even more special (to me - and we've already established that it's all about ME ... and making money, of course) when the kids build things with them.
Monday, August 2, 2010
BC Pills: One way ticket to CrazyTown
As if having PCOS and the subsequent infertility that goes along with it doesn't suck bad enough, my OBGYN recently put me on birth control pills AGAIN. All the kinds that I tried before made Aunt Flo overstay her welcome, only giving a week respite during placebo days, so this time we tried something different. Because the Rx was faxed to Medco and they take liberties with medication, I was sent a generic called Trivora. In general, I hate taking generic prescription strength medication. For some reason it just never seems to work as well for me. Anyway, I began taking the BC pill last Sunday and by this past Sunday I was visiting Crazy Town. I mean, seriously, full-on had to call my parents to talk me down from the ledge because I felt Craaaaaazeeeee. So I stopped taking them. The last one was Saturday night. I already feel better.
Somewhere around Thursday or Friday I started feeling like someone was massaging my brain, but not in a good way. Like I had overdosed on NoDoz pills or something. By Saturday I was beyond irritable. It didn't help that BabyBoy picked BabyGirl up out of her bassinet and dropped her. Or that he sat on her. Or that he hit her with a toy. Or that he marked on the wall AGAIN. Or that he bit BabyGirl and The Daughter hard enough to leave marks. Or that he replies "NO!" to everything anyone says to him. Or that he throws massive tantrums where he destroys anything in his path, screaming like a wild animal and harming anyone he can reach. Or that he spends his non-defiant time whining. Or that he won't sleep through the night and he gets up out of his bed a gazillion times a night. But the BC Pills were making me feel angry and depressed and weird and so for everyone's well being I stopped taking them.
Then today I had a doctor's appointment because my labs came back showing I had diabetes and they wanted to start me on medication (started Metformin today 500mg twice per day). I told them about my visiting CrazyTown and they agreed I shouldn't take the BC pills. Also my blood pressure was 160 which is way too high (started potassium today). I told them about how I had been feeling dizzy and couldn't concentrate and sometimes words would be so blurry that I couldn't read them at all. How I have been so tired that I've let the kids watch a cartoon just so I could take a 30 minute nap. How when I take the trash out that I feel like I'm going to pass out before I make it back to the house, even when it's not 100 degrees. And how my chest feels tight like I can't breathe. All. The. Time. These things are not normal for me. So now I have to start seeing a cardiologist. My mother wasn't kidding when she said it all goes downhill when you hit 30. At 34 it seems I've already found the bottom of that hill. I'm just struggling to keep from being buried there.
Somewhere around Thursday or Friday I started feeling like someone was massaging my brain, but not in a good way. Like I had overdosed on NoDoz pills or something. By Saturday I was beyond irritable. It didn't help that BabyBoy picked BabyGirl up out of her bassinet and dropped her. Or that he sat on her. Or that he hit her with a toy. Or that he marked on the wall AGAIN. Or that he bit BabyGirl and The Daughter hard enough to leave marks. Or that he replies "NO!" to everything anyone says to him. Or that he throws massive tantrums where he destroys anything in his path, screaming like a wild animal and harming anyone he can reach. Or that he spends his non-defiant time whining. Or that he won't sleep through the night and he gets up out of his bed a gazillion times a night. But the BC Pills were making me feel angry and depressed and weird and so for everyone's well being I stopped taking them.
Then today I had a doctor's appointment because my labs came back showing I had diabetes and they wanted to start me on medication (started Metformin today 500mg twice per day). I told them about my visiting CrazyTown and they agreed I shouldn't take the BC pills. Also my blood pressure was 160 which is way too high (started potassium today). I told them about how I had been feeling dizzy and couldn't concentrate and sometimes words would be so blurry that I couldn't read them at all. How I have been so tired that I've let the kids watch a cartoon just so I could take a 30 minute nap. How when I take the trash out that I feel like I'm going to pass out before I make it back to the house, even when it's not 100 degrees. And how my chest feels tight like I can't breathe. All. The. Time. These things are not normal for me. So now I have to start seeing a cardiologist. My mother wasn't kidding when she said it all goes downhill when you hit 30. At 34 it seems I've already found the bottom of that hill. I'm just struggling to keep from being buried there.
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