I knew when they moved Shadow that they weren't going to let us foster anymore. They didn't give us any kids for one year after we got BabyBoy so I thought that would be the route CPS would take in limiting our fostering. Or they had mentioned to the foster parent association president that our family was too large and I wouldn't be able to handle any thing else, so I thought maybe they would use that route. Then in court I asked if we'd be allowed to continue fostering and she said "You'll have to be reassessed. You don't really have enough room in your home." Huh? We have a completely empty bedroom reserved for teenagers. We also have an empty bed in The Daughter's room.
I took that opportunity to tell CPS once again that we don't currently have, nor have we ever had a baby bed in our bedroom. We have a tanning bed in there, but we aren't baking babies in it. In fact, it serves as a clothes rack and nothing more. She was curious how I knew what was written in our homestudy. Because foster/adoptive parents aren't allowed to see it at all. Whatever. Other people have requested theirs from the state. Get over yourself.
And it is that kind of attitude that makes them not like me.
She then gave me a backhanded compliment. She said if anyone could handle the birth parents crappola, that it was me.
But apparently 3 kids is too many and CPS has deemed that I've met my limit.
Don't think I won't fight it.
7 comments:
That is nuts. A friend of mine fosters, she has 7 kids (some adopted) and no empty bedrooms yet she still gets calls.
I'd lay low till the adoptions are finalized then feel free to day/do whatever you like.
What a crazy system. I feel sorry for the kids in it.
I'm guessing that your friend isn't a godless family in the heart of the bible belt? And she probably isn't quite as confrontational as I am. Cause those two things plus the fact that the 3 women in charge (not the director, he's male) are anti big families (they think 2.5 is .5 too much) means that the local CPS system doesn't want me to have any more kids. Least we bring them up to worship satan or something.
The local peeps are in good with the state peeps and private organizations are religion based so in order to have the big family that I've always wanted, we'll have to either start going to church or move out of the bible belt. Or miraculously become fertile.
Yeah, the system is fucked.
Sounds like a bunch of b.s. to me. Of course that's what was going to happen. You have your own mind and you express it to them. You don't bow down and kiss their ass just the way they like it. That is the kind of stuff that makes me sick. You would think that so long as someone who wants to care for and is qualified to care for foster kids is available they would take advantage of it. They're being very selfish and not thinking of the kids at all!
maybe for now.... just take one thing at a time. when babygirl is officially yours you can start in again with the fostering. it does seem weird that where you live is that worried/focused on religion. i was under the impression that the whole clountry was in dire need of more foster families, and since it seems to be the goal of fostering to reunite families where ever possible why does it matter which god(s) you do or do NOT believe in? i just dont understand this part!
heidi
Stuuuuuuuuuuuuupid, but unsurprising. If I may vent for a second, it turns out that the homestudy updates our worker filed last month (maybe 2 weeks ago) could take another month or more to clear. So that's a month getting the thing written, a month or two getting it filed, and the whole thing's only good for 9 months after that? Who thinks of this stuff??
I'm glad you finalized on Baby Boy, glad you've got a plan to keep fighting for the kids who need you. But I'm furious you're up against this nonsense yet again.
The CPS in your state in unbelievable. In my state, OK, they are begging for foster families. And you are not Godless. You might feel that way, but God definitly has blessed you and has a plan for your life. I would think they would want more of their foster kids to have a home like yours:) So glad you have those babies.
Blessings
Kim Chrisman
PS: Like your blogs new look
Oh, they are begging for more foster families here too. From the outside it appears there is a huge need. From the inside you can see that CPS is shutting down experienced foster homes due to things they dislike such as larger families (a woman had 6 foster kids, 4 of which she was in the process of adopting and they moved them ALL -she has an 8 bedroom house), non church going families (us & the aforementioned family), those who are no longer naive to the ways of CPS (all 7 homes currently not being allowed to continue fostering). They are replacing all of us with new people who don't yet know what they are getting in to. Or those who will gladly do this blindly and not question anything.
We don't believe in God necessarily. We identify as agnostic.
Thought I'd do something different for Valentines.
Thorn, it's a wonder they are able to get any kids adopted with this level of bureaucracy. I'm furious for y'all as well. It's been too long.
Heidi,
It matters to the local CPS, and mind you it isn't this way everywhere, just in the extreme parts of the bible belt, but they feel that a home without God is a home without stability and structure and guidance. They believe that the best support base is a church family. And they feel that foster kids need God in their lives, at least while they are in foster care, so that when they go home they've had that seed planted and will carry it with them through life becoming better than the previous generation.
It doesn't matter that we have routines and traditions and rules and boundaries. It doesn't matter that we teach right from wrong, without fearing eternal damnation. It doesn't matter that we encourage life skills, independence, critical thinking skills, etc so that the kid can have the tools she needs to succeed in life after going home to family.
What matters is we don't go to church.
The church going foster families are the first ones to disrupt on a kid if they don't conform, comply, and meekly follow the cult. How do I know this? Because we get those kids. They are marked as "bad" and "disruptive" and "defiant" and "Godless".
Or used to. Don't guess we will anymore.
If I could go back to our GPS classes, I would have held back a lot more. I wouldn't have shared my beliefs. I wouldn't have answered the way I did during the interview and autobiographical part.
But I can't go backward. So I'll go forward playing politics and being aggressive. May not get me anywhere, but I'll try.
Post a Comment