Our computer got infected. Seems it was off gallivanting without the use of condoms or something. The Husband got me a laptop for Christmas but it doesn't have a place for a phone cord. Guess we're the only people on the face of the planet still using dialup. Tried to get cable but they came out and deemed us "unserviceable". Then they sent us a bill for our first month's installation. Got to love it.
I drove far away to take The Daughter to a special expensive doctor one day last week and as soon as we got home BabyBoy's daycare called to say he had a fever of 103. I had just picked him up when BirthParents rang my phone. She started in asking me for a loan so they could go buy a heater and some groceries. I asked about the gas heater and groceries we just gave them the day before and she said they needed more. At that point I decided enough was enough and told her that I was too f'ing busy to have this conversation because I was dealing with a sick kid. Then of course she asked about the kids and became concerned chastising me for not already being at the doc's office. Took him to the doc and he has Strep. Got motrin and antibiotic and texted her neighbor's cell back that he was on his way to getting better. She called immediately, of course, saying how odd it was that he got strep at such a young age. You know because 2 years old is too young to get sick with anything. I told BirthMom that I needed to get off the phone and she asked what I would do if they had another baby "not that anything has happened!" Holy shit. It's been two weeks. This will be kidlet number 7 for them. Then she volunteered to come babysit my other kids while TheDaughter has surgery next week. Umm, hell no.
I didn't answer my phone or texts for three days. She called about 6 or 7 times per day and texted several times per day as well. All from different neighbor's phones because they don't have the money to turn theirs on. Boundaries schmoundaries.
TheCheerleader text'd me recently. Her family has been letting her down again. Christmas she had nowhere to go. Maternal Grandparents went out of town and wouldn't let her go, Paternal Grandparents said she was too late for their event, Mom got liquored up and couldn't be found. Dad in prison. She is making poor decisions.
Shaodw is Shadow. Fetal Alcohol Effects? I don't know and we still haven't heard from her SW. It's been two months and nothing ... no homevisits, no ISP, no ILP, no doctor appointments, no counseling, no sibling visits. I'm beyond furious.
BabyBoy's SW didn't come out for a homevisit in Dec so she had her friend come instead. This SW was the last one for The Cheerleader. She has filled in for BabyBoy's worker once before. She is nosy and seriously pro-CPS and I don't care for her too much. She came out and started asking about BabyGirl and The Cheerleader and other kids that aren't in the system anymore therefore shouldn't be any of her damn business. She even asked what The Daughter's case plan was. I can't wait until this shit is finalized so I don't have to see any of these people in my home ever again.
Speaking of which, CPS didn't drop their petition on BabyGirl like they were supposed to when our lawyer filed for adoption. They lied. Big shocker. So now things may get interesting again.
BabyGirl's umbilical cord fell off today. BirthParent's accused me of not cleaning it properly as they felt it should have already fallen off. They judge my parenting skills a lot. BabyBoy has sensitive skin and has this cream prescribed by the pediatrician but BirthDad accused me of scratching his back and bum. Like I had abused him.
Speaking of abuse, when we signed the adoption papers for BabyBoy, we got to have the information on the other kids pick ups and such. BirthDad was beating them, bruises documented with photographs, putting one's head in the toilet and flushing repeatedly, giving them drugs and alcohol, leaving them unsupervised for long periods of time. Details that I hadn't heard until then and it was unnerving.
But when they get on their feet, they are going to help us buy diapers and formula. Until they get on their feet though, would I go turn on their electricity and phone and buy them some groceries? They'll pay me back ... when they get on their feet.
BirthMom said "Can I call you tomorrow?" and I replied "No, I'll be busy doing XYZ and taking care of ABC and then LMNOP." but I bet she calls anyway. And I won't answer 'cause I'm mean like that.
So I've been pissy. You?
7 comments:
I've been following you for a little bit and I have to say that I find you to be a hero. You are a hero to take in children that cannot be with their birth parents. A hero for putting up with BB and BG's birth parents for sure! I love how BirthDad and BirthMom are so critical and quick to throw around accusations when they don't have custody of any of their 6 children. I know this is stuff you already know, though. Anyway, I just wanted to let you know that I admire you and wish you the best of luck!
I like you cause you are pissy.
why why why why are these people allowed to call you directly? shouldnt they be contacting the social worker or someone , anyone else to meet their needs? is it because you fear they will make everything MORE difficult if you dont cater to them? ( oh dear everything i say sounds harsh but please understand my coffee pot died this morning and it seems i cant.... think straight yet)
but what i was asking is why do they contact you directly?
Heidi.... because i still dont know how to use the choose an identity thingy.
Thanks Amy! *blushing*
Aww shucks T, I feel the love!
Heidi, I gave out my cell # when I was trying to locate the birth parents for visits with BabyBoy when his adoption got near. I also knew they were expecting and had been seeking an adoptive person and was hoping to talk to them about that. They contact me privately because we are adopting privately, no SW involvement (supposedly). CPS has done No Reasonable Efforts on the last several of their kids and won't help them anymore. This is after 8 years of helping them financially, etc. Even if they weren't calling me for help, I want to keep in contact for monthly visits because it is important to me for my kids to know their birth parents. Part of me feels guilty that we didn't have to pay as much as most people do for private adoptions and it happened so quickly and everything, so I help out of that sense of guilt. And then part of me wants to help because it's just my personality. I'm a "saver" of people. I take care of things and people in my family, always have, due to childhood crapola and unhealthy family dynamics. And part of me keeps thinking that maybe, just maybe if they got enough help, they might just become better people. And yes, I'm aware that is unrealistic.
holy cow girlfriend!... these Birth parents are friggin wacked! WOW!
oh my word woman you must have the strength and determination of ten mothers.
only a true mom would go to such lengths for her babies.... (though i do hope you can get a break from kiddos and birthparents once in a while to recharge. ) i am glad i came across your blog as you do inspire me to be a little kinder than i might want to be to people who may not appreciate my words or actions but certianly, as fellow human beings, deserve to be treated wil a little more respect than i might have shown otherwise. what a role modle to you children and the rest of us.
Heidi
not pissy- ASSERTIVE. there is no other choice. your marriage and family come first. you poor thing, i wish i lived close, i could give you a real hand. i knew CPS wouldnt let it go with the youngest. i knew it. now what? jerks. love the power trip theyre on!
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