Finally, a homevisit for Shadow

Three months into Shadow's placement with us and her worker finally graced us with her presence. And it was interesting to say the least. We raised our voices at one another. I said something like "It's pretty pathetic at the level of neglect and incompetence in regards to this case. Shadow can't go to the doctor because you've failed to fax a form to the state office, meanwhile she's almost bald from hair loss potentially from a thyroid or other medical condition. Correspondence classes that she was supposed to complete back before Christmas break have yet to arrive due to sheer idiocy. One person neglected to send the form to the proper person, the financial person sent payment to the wrong place, then it was returned and sat in your mailbox for a month before you noticed, and now you are asking us why Shadow can't just turn in her work? She hasn't even received her work yet! She can't pass the high school grad exam. She needs a tutor. She needs testing. She needs to see a psychiatrist, not some CPS affiliated counselor. We were told she would have regular visits with siblings and that has yet to be arranged. We haven't had an ISP meeting. Nobody has been out for a homevisit and you are required by law to do them. Shadow's ILP money went to her mailing address from two homes ago because you forgot to change her information. I don't mean to be so harsh, but in just four short months Shadow will be out of the foster care system and if CPS doesn't give her the help she needs, she will be homeless, jobless, and without a high school diploma. I refuse to to let this happen. TheHusband and I care about Shadow and we want to see her succeed." And apparently that was too critical and rude and tactless because that's what the worker's words and actions implied. Oh she got defensive and pissy and even more closed off than before. She probably won't place her case load kids with us again. And that's okay. We don't have to like one another.

But I found out two very pertinent things that explain much of Shadow's behavior. 1) her IQ is 70 and 2)she was horribly pickled in utero by a constant stream of alcohol and hard drugs

She's been involved with CPS since the age of 5, so for 13 years. For a few months she was with a foster family until moving in with one of her sister's grandparents (they all have different daddies, same mom), but CPS dismisses this and doesn't even call it a placement (what was it then? a holding cell? grrr!). Ten years she lived with her sisters and their grandparents. Over the past three years now she's been in one group home under two separate sets of house parents, and four actual foster homes including ours.

And she has never felt attached to anyone, her whole life, until the people who disrupted on her.

And she has a pesky little habit of taking things that aren't hers and then hiding them in odd places.

And everywhere she has ever lived has said she has inappropriate behaviors and unusual fascinations.

And she sometimes lies.

And she isn't sure of what to say or how to act in situations, so she needs someone to tell her her lines, to coach her as in a play.

And she may or may not have a history of violence. It may have been her sister. They are so much alike and only 1 year apart, and the SW couldn't be bothered to read their files or remember which is which.

You know, nothing that was serious enough for the SW to mention when she called asking us to take an 18 year old who was a "good kid, never been in trouble, only in foster care for 2 years".

Typical CPS bullshit.