BabyGirl is a month old

My how time flies. BabyGirl was born one month ago today. It's hard to believe really as so much has happened in such a short time. She's gained a few pounds, up to 6 something. I'd know specifically but someone who shall remain nameless procrastinated on contacting HR, then found out he just needed to call the insurance company, then procrastinated on that, then called and let them tell him the adoptions had to be finalized first. I had to look it up online and find the specific laws stating they have to put the kids on our insurance. And now someone who shall remain nameless is busy procrastinating again. Or busy working. But BabyGirl is doing fine.

Both BabyBoy and BabyGirl will be adopted at the same time in just a few weeks. We were lucky in that our lawyer got the judge to waive all the homestudy stuff with BabyGirl since he already has BabyBoy's homestudy. They are siblings with the same BirthMom and BirthDad and same Foster/Adopt Mom and Foster/Adopt Dad. Now we are wondering who all to invite to the adoption finalization. Do you even invite people to this kind of thing? With mailed invitations or just a quick email? How many people is too many? Should we have a party afterwards? Do you include the birth parents?

Ahh, the BirthParents. Since I last wrote things went downhill, bad, then bounced back to their typical ways. Everything got to be too much for me to handle. They were calling 4 times per day, texting as much, and spending an hour each time on the phone. That was four hours of my day spent listening to them fight, cry, hint for money, food, phone to be turned on, electricity to be turned on, water to be turned on, transportation to and fro, etc. And then they got an eviction notice and wanted to come stay with us. So I didn't take their calls for 5 days. They called 16 times and texted 28 times (this all using a neighbor's phone!). A couple of the text were threats. When I didn't respond to threats they attempted to bribe with the potential of a new pregnancy. When that didn't work they tried luring me in with copies of photographs of BB and BG's first four siblings. And then they went back to threats. So on day 5 I text'd that I would have respectful conversations only and that they could not last very long as I had kids to parent and things to do and that we could not, at all, help them out financially at that time. Of course they went right back to calling multiple times per day, hinting and flat out asking for stuff, and ignoring all my attempts at setting boundaries.

We had a visit. When TheHusband goes to these visits, BirthDad suddenly decides he's too sick to come. When TheHusband isn't there, BirthDad makes inappropriate sexual remarks. Constantly. Even when my other kids are present. And they tell the kids to call them Mom and Dad, as if this is a coparenting deal (it's not). This whole time I've been adamant about keeping in contact with them for the kid's sake so that they could have a relationship and know where they came from, but now I'm beginning to think it would be more harmful than helpful to continue this situation.

The day before they were to be evicted, we took BabyBoy's last board payment of $200, which was only a partial anyway because of him being in an official adoptive placement now, and paid their lot rent for the week plus bought groceries and turned their phone on. It prevented them from being evicted. They still owe $200 plus now at the end of this week they'll have to add another $100 for lot rent that they are behind on. They still owe a couple of hundred to get caught up on their trailer payment. In order to get their electricity turned on, they have to pay $300. BirthMom lost her job because she didn't go back to work after having the baby. We felt we were doing the right thing, even if they were total strangers, we prevented them from sleeping on the streets for at least another week. I should mention that it was 9 degrees at night and below freezing during the day. They don't have heat because the person who gave them the kerosene heater apparently lent it without the owners permission AKA stole it and the rightful owner repo'd it. The gas heater that we gave them? They gave it away!

I looked around and found some job leads for them both. BirthMom called and got BirthDad an interview set up, then they called me asking for a ride. I couldn't because I had 3 places to be that day with three separate kids, hoping to get done in time to pick up the fourth kid after school. So of course he didn't go. It was a $9 an hour job with terrific benefits and after a while would have gone up to $12 an hour. It was a way to get out of the hell hole life they are living and he wouldn't even call a friend for a ride or gosh forbid walk.

I've already agreed to take BirthMom to the doctor next week so she can be cleared to return to work. And get more pain pills, of course. But 42 days after the adoption finalization, this shit stops.

I'll stop my complaining to say that they make beautiful babies and I'm very grateful that we have been allowed to parent two of them since their births. I feel truly blessed.