The Stink Eye

So, in what seems like the never ending parade of childhood illnesses, The Daughter now has Pink Eye. She is driving me crazy bouncing off the walls with boredom home from school today so that she doesn't infect her fellow classmates, instead infecting BabyBoy because Pink Eye times two is twice the fun. I want a large family and think blog titles like Cheaper by the Dozen, and Get One Free are super clever (yes, that's why I want a large family - for the blog title) but I can not imagine what fifths, pukes & poops, and pink eye are like times 10 or 20 or even 30 kids. So I want a large family, but we'll need live-in medical staff or a quarantine room or only genetically modified children who are perpetually well*.

Even with everyone healthy, how do you balance everyone's schedules in a larger family? I'm currently only balancing two and already there are conflicts. Heck The Daughter alone has conflicts in just her schedule. For example Gymnastics is supposed to be from 4 to 5 pm but this week will be from 4:30 to 5:30 which would be fine but Tball which is supposed to be at 6pm has been changed this week to 5pm. Gymnastics is only once per week but this Tball coach wants the kids to get softball scholarships upon graduating high school (yes, the 5 and 6 year olds) so he has them practicing three or more times per week and soon this will be in addition to games once per week. Add in foster parent meetings, other extracurricular activities, homevisits, Board of Director's meetings, court dates, volunteering, school field trips, vehicle maintenance, household chores, other random crap, and the all too frequently occurring doctors visits and who has time for a job?

*I am not in any way whatsoever advocating for eugenics. Send all hatemail to ItsAJokePeople@LightenUp.com

Wordless Wednesday: help identify this plant

Saw this at Disney in Florida and while it looks almost like a mimosa, the leaves are different. Any idea what it is?

Randomness

I was going to title this post Random Shit but thought that might turn some of my 5 readers off and really, haven't I already alienated enough people this year.

What do you think about when you hear of someone going to the spa? I think pampered people with the money to afford overpriced cucumbers and clay, although I'd give my left pinky toenail to get a good foot massage and back rub. So on the way to our recent vacation spot when I saw this big ass billboard advertising a spa, I had completely innocent thoughts, until ... about a mile down the road when the same billboard appeared again but this time with the words "Truckers Welcome". The further we got to the the place Where Dreams Come True, the more Lucky Spa turned into Club Risque and Truckers Welcome turned into We Bare All and I was all "Holy Shit, We're Not in the Bible Belt Anymore!" Seriously, how do you explain such things to a kid who can READ and SEE the NUDE pictures on a HUGE sign the size of a house in the middle of the day? Thank God the people here locally would never let such a thing grace our roadways. Go ahead, judge me for that comment, call me an anti-feminist I dare you.

Know how you can always tell when you get close to a military installation? You'll see an increase in strip clubs, porn shops, tattoo parlors, check cashing business, and prostitutes or escorts or whatever politically correct term you choose. Pass through at night and your eyes will be traumatized by the sheer tackiness of the gazillion bajillion neon lights flashing Meat Socks for Sale.

Still trying to figure out where we went for Spring Break? No? Is anyone still reading? Other than my little group of unprofessional stalkers. I can't seem to shake them regardless of what I write. Gotta gather info for gossip afterall. Oh, you over there, my one last legitimate reader ... thanks for sticking around, lovies!

Last hint


We left home in sweaters since it was 40 degrees, hit 50 degrees by the time we left our state, 60 when we entered the next state and 70 when we left it, and then WHOA it's hotter than Hades in the Sunshine State. That's right folks, we went to Disney World.

Without fail, every time I step foot in Florida something goes wrong. It all started back when I was a teenager and my family went on the one and only week long vacation that didn't involve hunting or fishing. It was some phone scheme where you were to stay for free in a nice hotel on the beach but you had to go to daily meetings where they hold a gun to your head force you to buy a time share in a condo most likely not located on the beach but instead in some shady area of town far, far away from any beach connected to the ocean but maybe if you are lucky one connected to a swamp. We had a great time in New Symrna Beach and being the country bumpkins we were, umm still are, thought it completely safe to wander barefoot out of the hotel room and walk on the beach before the sun came up. But we were poor and couldn't afford their time share so they sent us for the rest of our vacation to a rickety shack in St Augustine. Still we explored the city and learned a lot of history. Nothing bad happened to us while we still IN Florida, but once we arrived home that all changed. We opened the door and our entire house was covered in these things that looked like ants but had wings! Flying ants? Gah! Termintes! Turns out they had been eating away at our house just waiting for us to leave long enough they could come inside and finish it off. There was a huge hole in the kitchen floor and my sister's bedroom floor was gone, her bed was on the dirt below. We had to build a new house. We didn't have insurance. Did I mention we were poor?

The next FL incident was my own fault for being naive and letting a supposed friend take advantage of me. She invited me and my cousin down to Lakeland and said if I drove my car down, that she would split gas costs with me and that we could stay at her mother's apartment and eat meals with them for free. When I picked her up, her mother was with her making the car WAY waaaaaayyyyy too full. I'm trying to be nice. Then they proceeded to not pay for gas. And they didn't have food to prepare for meals and they went out to eat without us. Instead of bailing out of there like we should have, my cousin and I did stupid stuff with boys to occupy our time. Then it snowed. In Florida. And I sped home and married my first asshole. Too bad I can't blame the 2nd one on Florida. Har Dee Har Har

The third FL incident also involved my cousin (she left 13 messages on the machine while we were gone - calling from the county jail, again). You would think I would learn a lesson. 1) stay out of Florida, and 2) stay away from that cousin, or at least 3) stop marrying assholes. I took Foster Daughter #1, Bio Daughter, and my cousin's son who is also my cousin (funny how that whole family tree stuff works - I also had an Uncle who was both my Uncle and my Great Uncle - not too many branches in our tree) to Pensacola Florida in order to visit with said cousin. She swore her house was nice and in a safe neighborhood and that only her and her asshole lived there and they were both clean and sober. I should have known she was lying. After all, her mouth was moving. Hey, she and my 2nd asshole have that in common! Oh, I'm joking. If his mouth is moving it's to call me a bitch or if I've just caught him hiding something AGAIN I'm a psychotic bitch or the more hurtful words like unattractive, fat, ugly, inconsistent, lazy, worthless, crazy, or my favorite line that I have a "skewed view of reality". But anyway, we got there and her house was not safe. Due to the Blue Angels being in town I couldn't get a hotel room for less than $600 a night so we stayed one night with the cousin. We slept inside our tent in a bedroom with a locking door and I stayed awake on guard all night, knife and cell phone in hand. They had "boarders" who came and went, one of whom brought her clients to the house, there was drugs in a coffee can in the kitchen, the fridge didn't work and the mcdonalds bathroom down the street was cleaner than my cousin's house. The next night I was able to get a hotel room for just under $300 and after finally getting some sleep, seashells, and food, we drove back home.

For some unknown reason I thought my Florida Curse wouldn't come into play during the whole Disney fiasco. I guess I just hoped for our kid's sake we could have a good time and make lasting memories. But then The Daughter got fifths and we all four got a stomach bug and honestly some of the time there was very stressful. So when we got home we all said how good it was to be back home. Well, except for BabyBoy. He just projectile vomited and then shit with such runny force that it got in his hair and ran down his leg, through his clothing, and onto the carpet. Yep, it's great to be home. That carpet stain would have cost us $500 per the rental house contract in FL. I did love the sunshine and heat though. That was really nice. Really nice! Gosh I miss that. I would move down there if I weren't such a fraidy cat. I totally want to change the title to "My Florida Curse and Meat Socks R Us". Bet that would attract some serious traffic. IBTP.

Oh, and before I forget, I got my VERY FIRST BLOG AWARD while I was gone. Foster Mama over at Postcards from Insanity awarded me the Sisterhood of Snark Award! Love it. Thank you. Snark Bait Who Ha Ha.

Home Sick

The past several posts have been scheduled because we have been out of town. We are home now. We had to cut our vacation short because of sickness. BabyBoy got diarrhea the first day but we thought it might be the drinking water so we switched him to bottled water and he did fine for the next three or four days and then he started vomiting and the diarrhea came back with a vengeance. The Daughter started complaining of her legs itching on our 2nd day of Spring Break. We thought it might be an insect bite, but when it started to spread we thought she might be allergic to the new soap we were using. Only after her cheeks got red and the rash spread to every inch of her body did we realize it was probably fifth disease (she had a sore throat last week and was hoarse but initially i didn't put two and two together). I started feeling nauseous and fatigued so we decided to pack up and come on back home in order to take The Daughter to the doctor about her rash. That was Thursday and I'm glad we came on home because shortly after arriving here Friday I got diarrhea, then The Daughter began vomiting, BabyBoy continued to vomit and have diarrhea, and finally I also began to vomit. Not sure if it's a stomach virus or something in the water or what but we all feel like shit. It has now been several hours since anyone got sick, thank goodness. The Husband will be leaving early in the morning to go back to the state where he has been working, and will continue to work until June where he will leave for a location overseas for another 6 months (making total time not living here with us over a year long). At least he gets to come home some now although he won't be coming home for three weeks which sucks. BabyBoy is staying the night with my parents and I am grateful for their help but also very upset to be away from him overnight. And I'll stop whining now and go tend to The Daughter as she is crying saying she is going to throw up again. Breaks my heart to see a sick kid.

NAMI and other resources

The following are some of the resources listed in the back of If Your Adolescent Has Schizophrenia by Raquel E. Gur and Ann Braden Johnson. I wanted to discuss this topic more in depth this week, but have been otherwise engaged so perhaps I'll revisit it some other time. Anyway, here are some links to keep you busy:

Ian Chovil's experience of Schizophrenia

American Academy of Child and Adolescent Psychiatry

American Academy of Pediatrics

American Association of Suicidology

American Foundation for Suicide Prevention

American Psychiatric Association

American Psychological Association

Bazelon Center for Mental Health Law

Boston University Center for Psychiatric Rehabilitation

Gould Farm - oldest therapeutic community in the US

Institute for Recovery and Community Integration

Supported Education Community Action Group with the Univ of Michigan school of SW

National Alliance on Mental Illness

National Association of State Mental Health Directors

National Dissemination Center for Children with Disabilities

National Empowerment Center Inc

National Institute of Mental Health

National Mental Health Association

National Mental Health Consumers Self Help Clearinghouse

National Mental Health Information Center

National Schizophrenia Foundation

Recovery Inc self help group

United States Psychiatric Rehabilitation Association

The Village Integrated Service Agency

Vinfen Corporation

WindHorse Community Services Inc

Living a Functional Life with Schizophrenia

It is possible for people to "have only one schizophrenic episode and then never have another" but it is not typical. Most people, like my sister, will continue to struggle with the symptoms of the disease of schizophrenia for a lifetime. Stories like John Nash in A Beautiful Mind are not the norm in the world of schizophrenia.

With early and ongoing intervention, however, many people with schizophrenia are able to live functional lives and to improve significantly. Prognosis in the first five to ten years after onset of the illness is affected by many factors, with the most positive outcome associated with the following:

• A good support system of family and friends
• Late onset of the illness
• Sudden (rather than gradual) onset of the illness, with obvious precipitating factors
• Good social and vocational history prior to becoming sick
• Presence of mood disorder symptoms
• Presence of positive symptoms
• family history of mood disorders
• High IQ
• High socioeconomic status
• Awareness of being mentally ill

Notice John Nash has most if not all of the qualities listed above.

***Quotes from If Your Adolescent Has Schizophrenia: An Essential Resource for Parents

If Your Adolescent Has Schizophrenia

"Early diagnosis and intervention at the FIRST SIGNS of the disease can help to prevent its worst effects over the long term."

I've been reading If Your Adolescent Has Schizophrenia by Raquel E. Gur & Ann Braden Johnson. It's a thin book so you can get through it quickly, but it is chock full of important information. I probably overuse this statement, but it is a must read for parents who suspect their child may suffer from schizophrenia. Seriously, you NEED to read this book.

Substance abuse can provide a means to a social network that helps people with schizophrenia to cope with the isolation and loneliness that their illness can cause.

Studies have shown that drugs and alcohol also increase the potential for auditory hallucinations and paranoid delusion. Several street drugs, for example, can produce symptoms similar to those associated with schizophrenia, including speed, acid (LSD), and PCP (Phencylidine), all of which can produce hallucinations and delusions, as can prolonged marijuana use.

Too many people tend to brush off bizarre behavior of teens due to typical teen issues, typical teen drug experimentation, typical teen whatever, etc. Don't ignore it. It won't go away. It won't get better on its own. Get help NOW.

For the rest of the week, I will continue to discuss schizophrenia and list resources from the book, If Your Adolescent Has Schizophrenia.

Lowes Kids Clinic

Lowe's home improvement store has a Build and Grown Clinic on the 2nd & 4th Saturday of the month. We've been taking the kids for years now and have amassed a great deal of wooden items made by tiny hands. They make everything from cars and trucks to picture frames, banks, and miniature basketball hoops. On Mother's Day and Father's Day, the kids even get a discount card to give as a gift to their parents. This is a FREE event! The clinic is taught by a Lowe's employee, but adults are expected to supervise and help their own children. When flying solo, I have to take BabyBoy some snacks and toys and put him in a shopping cart while I help The Daughter and any other kids in my care. If The Husband is around he sometimes brings home the packet of materials so The Daughter doesn't miss out on her Sushi Pack cartoon. Can't beat free weekend entertainment for the kids.

Bees in Rodanthe

So it looks like I'm doing Date Night alone until 2010. I'm exaggerating. He'll come home a handful of times before Over There (yes Jess, there), well, only three or four times so 3 to 4 more Date Nights till 2010. Seems I'll get to watch the movies of my choosing this year, no scary horror flicks! This weekend I picked out two movies set in the South, The Secret Life of Bees and Nights in Rodanthe. Both made me cry so watch with a box of tissues.

Wordless Wednesday

Why I haven't had a garden in almost five years

My weekend went something like this:

No BabyBoy, don't eat dirt.
No BabyBoy, don't eat rocks.
No BabyBoy, don't eat grass.
Put down the stick.
No BabyBoy, don't eat sticks.
Daughter, please take that stick away from BabyBoy before he pokes his eye out.
Oh My Gosh, that's not a stick. Put it down, put it down!



No. Don't. Eat. Dirt.
Wasp! No touch! No touch! NO TOUCH!
No I won't come push you again, for the gazillionth time, pump your legs and you'll keep going.

Seriously, how do single parents with younger kids do it all? I was trying to prepare the side yard for a garden area. Since I haven't had a garden since The Daughter was born, the garden area has grown to look like the rest of the yard with grass and weeds, mostly weeds. I used my handy little garden tool to tear up the top layer of the grass/weed combo and till under the soil. It's half hoe and half fork and the handle is as long as a hammer handle so it makes for hard physical work. At first the kids started out "helping" me and then I decided to work only while BabyBoy napped and The Daughter was playing independently which really meant I had to stop and push her on the swing every 5 seconds and run in to check that BabyBoy was still asleep. Not a very productive method which is why it took me three days to get the job done. And then last night on the phone my dad said he was bringing the tractor over later this week to plow my sister's garden area ... if only I had waited.

***The pics are from last year's 'look at the huge earth worm OMG that's a snake' moment. The Husband was here back then so of course he prevented me from chopping the serpent to pieces (it did shit on him though, so HaHa).

5 going on 15

Hi Ho
Did You Know
Yellow and Blue make Green







We have a collection of children's music CDs that we've happily listened to for five years now. If we are in the vehicle and the songs on the radio are inappropriate for young ears, we pop in a CD, easy peasy. Apparently age five is the time when this is no longer acceptable. The Daughter exasperatedly said "MOM, I'm too old for that music now! That's baby music." And then she proceeded to ask for me to find the Platypus song on the radio. For those of you unaccustomed to misheard song lyrics, that's Fergie's Glamorous. The Daughter sings Platypus, Platypus instead of Glamorous, Glamorous.

The whole encounter reminded me of another mother-daughter conversation had while in the vehicle. About a year or so ago she asked when she would be old enough to drive. I told her when she was 15 she could start driving with an adult in the vehicle with her and at 16 she could drive alone. She then innocently asked "But how will I get my car seat to fit up there?"

Now she sees her fellow kindergartners in the drop off / pick up line at school and they aren't in car seats, most don't even have booster seats, so she is taking every opportunity to point that out. She'll say "SoAndSo is old enough that she doesn't have to ride in a car seat". And to make sure I get the Worst Mom of the Year Award, I reply "Well, if SoAndSo gets in an accident she might get hurt because of not being properly secured in a SAFETY seat." I'm sorry but a four foot forty fifty pound five year old should have more than just a lap belt. The shoulder strap isn't supposed to be tucked behind you if it doesn't fit, you should get a booster seat so it will fit in the proper place, like um maybe your shoulder area. But ya know, it's not cool to ride in a baby seat or listen to baby music. Next thing you know she will make me drop her off a block from school so she won't be seen getting out of a momvan minivan.

Day out with Thomas the Train

Thomas the Train is coming to a town near you! Last year I took The Cousin at age 13, The Daughter at age 4, and BabyBoy at age 1 month and had a blast. We rode the train and then got temporary tattoos, colored Thomas themed coloring sheets, played with Legos and train sets, jumped in a bounce house, and took pictures with Sir Topham Hat. The year prior to that there was also a petting zoo. Everything is free except for the train ride which runs from $14 to $18 dollars per person. Children under 2 ride free.

Homevist #13 for BabyBoy

BabyBoy has been in foster care for 13 months. His worker is great and has been on top of all the paperwork the entire time. The birth parents relinquished their rights at the TPR hearing in January. So what's the hold up, right? Everyone keeps asking if the adoption is finalized yet and I keep telling them it takes months, unfortunately even years, which is hard to understand when all the stuff seems to be done already. Isn't TPR supposed to be the hardest part? CPS has a new lawyer who perhaps isn't the best fit for this particular job. I'm sure he is a good lawyer but maybe working for the foster care system isn't his strong suit. There also seems to be confusion as to who actually writes up the adoption thing to be filed. The worker asked the GAL if he had completed it and he replied that he didn't do them, so the worker then asked the CPS lawyer who may not even know what the hell she is talking about. We are waiting on him, the CPS lawyer to write the petition for adoption and file it. Then we wait 15 days for the birth parents to potentially file an appeal. I was under the impression that the we were clear of the 15 day wait period, but apparently that was a misunderstanding. After that an adoption worker replaces BabyBoy's social worker. This part doesn't make sense to me because you have a person who isn't even remotely familiar with the case taking over and making life altering decisions, but nobody asked my opinion. Anyway so the adoption worker writes up her thing and submits it to her supervisor who has to write off on it. The supervisor is notorious for taking a long ass time to get anything done. After the supervisor signs off on the adoption, she sends it to the state for approval. Somewhere in there we are to hire a lawyer and watch time tick by. BabyBoy's worker said foster care adoptions have been getting finalized in about 90 days from the date the petition is filed, so at the earliest, this summer and at the latest sometime next year or the year after that. Why do children who are already TPR'd have to linger in foster care for so damn long when they already have loving forever families wanting to provide permanency? This is why ... the paperwork, the lack of knowledge regarding ones job, lack of consistency in workers, lack of individuals making their jobs a priority, the sheer number of people who have to sign off on a single case ... basically the bureaucratic bullshit.

Wordless Wednesday: Forsythia

Just keep swimming, swimming, swimming

I moaned and groaned about 2009 in a previous post and then I read something another blogger said, I think it may have been Cindy Bodie, and it changed my outlook on the year. Basically she stated she was going to absolutely excel this year, regardless of the crappola going on with loved ones. The source of my crappola is also a loved one and while I am feeling a whole slew of emotions about this, ultimately I have to keep on keeping on. Being positive is not my strong point. Currently I feel as though I am struggling, frantically swimming just to keep my head above water and every time I get one breath of air something else happens that fully submerges me again and the whole thing is exhausting, overwhelming, and lonely. Dear gosh the isolation of being a SAHM is getting to me. Things spiraling completely out of control is getting to me. Shattered dreams, wishes, and hopes time and time again, is getting to me. But all I can do is try to make the most of it, to try and do more than just survive and endure. I am going to attempt to absolutely excel this year! There are already some things in the works which I will be posting about momentarily.

Oh, and Happy Birthday to You!Dr Seuss. Loveyour books. RIP

In like a lion, out like a lamb

In the span of a week, we went from 70 degrees to tornadoes to snow to 20 degrees and now it is supposed to hit 60 degrees by the end of this week.