See, I'm not a stone-cold meanie. Today after running my own errands, purchasing groceries and gas, dropping by the lawyers office, taking one kid to a sibling visit, another to storytime, and yet another to a playdate, I transported BirthParents to hither and yon. Paid their pharmacy bill. Bought them groceries. Got kerosene. Took them out to eat. Gave a gift card. And even mediated their spats. Come join me at Martyrs-R-Us where your damned if you do and damned if you don't.
No really, we had a couple of tense conversations where we talked about hard topics and set some boundaries. For example, BirthDad went to grab BabyGirl's carseat and carry her inside someone's trailer that I didn't know, without me, and I said that it was best for her to stay in the van where it was warm. He got a little mad but there was a boundary identified. We agreed to one phone call or text every other day. And I asserted that I will transport them for visits and seeking employment, nothing else. I gave them a copy of my little booklet that has foodbanks and other places of assistance. Already I feel better; less guilty, more proactive which means I can focus on taking care of the kids, which is what I really want to do.
4 comments:
OH MY OH MY OH MY OH MY! i just dont know where you find the strength. i commented on a prevoius post ( well i commented on it this morning) so you wouldnt wonder who i am reading all of everything. and then i realized that well i just dont know how to leave a comment with my/any contact information you know like how it puts my name above my comment. but either way I am so impressed with all you say and do for your children. if more people would put in half the energy you have there would be fewer families in such a state of crisis. and while my own 'foster home' experience is different from what you provide for your family i do wish there had been more understanding for the family i had to leave behind. i believe you are doing more than you even know for your kiddos when you respect the people who created them. thank you for loving them enough to see through all the red tape. Heidi
Good! Let's hope that they respect those boundaries, now.
Natalie
adoptyaroslav.blogspot.com
you're a better person than me. My boundries are a little tighter.
Whoa. Not going to lie, I was a little worried about you putting yourself out there for the bio parents so much, but I'm liking this boundaries thing. I 'suppose' you know what you're doing eh ;)
and I never said you were an ice-heart - you're definitely one of the kindest people out there!
-roz
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