Yet more info on the sibling

Another person contacted CPS regarding BabyBoy's sibling. This person is a nurse and paid for the birthmom go to the doctor. She got an ultrasound and is due Jan 1st. Because the nurse was skeptical about what the birthparents were telling her, she contacted CPS. Of course they can't give me any information. They know that the birth parents are now living on their own without electricity or water, but CPS won't give me the address or general location. They also aren't going to take the sibling like they did BabyBoy. Instead they plan to allow the birth parents to pick a safety placement if they haven't already found someone for the private adoption. I don't understand why they would take one baby without thinking twice, but won't take the next one. Not that anything CPS does makes sense.

Apparently there was a Grandmotherly lady who also contacted CPS saying she was doing the private adoption. Each time I speak to the worker, she tells me of another person that is giving money to the birth parents and expecting to adopt the baby. I hadn't even heard about the grandmotherly person until BabyBoy's worker called to tell me about the nurse.

Before that it was the SW's friend from school. Before that some random person. Before that a person who went to church with the birth parents and is friends with another SW not on this case. It's a fucking circus and I don't trust anyone involved.

And I keep taking it personally that the birth parents didn't attempt to contact me. Rationally I know that they probably think I reneged on visitation. I told them we would do monthly visits once the adoption was finalized. When I finally got tired of waiting on the adoption and went looking for them, I couldn't make contact. I knew where birthmom worked but each time I would go she wasn't there and the other employees were sketchy with info. I left pictures and updates and this last time I left my phone number but she's already quit though I have a feeling someone there knows how to contact her. Or maybe they don't trust me because I'm affiliated with CPS simply by being a foster parent. Or maybe they didn't think I could do a private adoption. Or maybe they think I'm being greedy and I've already got one of their kids so they want someone else to have this one. They don't even know how hard I've had to fight to keep BabyBoy.

Then I think about how odd it is that birth dad happily announced the pregnancy to BabyBoy's old SW. CPS wouldn't even have known about the baby if he hadn't of told. Why did he do that? Why didn't he ask about BabyBoy? Why didn't he ask the worker if she was still BabyBoy's SW? Why didn't he ask if the adoption was finalized? Why didn't he ask to send a message or inquire about contact? Why was he so confident that CPS wouldn't be taking this baby? What does he know that I don't? Why can't I just let it all go and be grateful for BabyBoy like every damn body tells me I should be? Like I can't simultaneously care about more than one child?

I keep feeling like it's out of my hands. There isn't anything else I can do. I've already gone to her last known place of employment. I've called all 3 phone numbers I had for them, all disconnected. I've written letters and sent them to all known addresses and places of employment. I've driven around the city where they used to live in hopes that I would see them walking somewhere. I've sat in the parking lot at the OBGYN where she went for care with BabyBoy (and yes, I felt a tad stalkerish but decided to call it Recon). I've asked every worker involved with the family if they could share info with me. I've asked if they could get info using the HIPAA release. I've asked if they could simply contact birth mom's probation officer to get info. I've asked if they were allowed to get info on whatever change to drivers license that birth dad was there for at the court house that day. Each time I'm told CPS can't access this info yet they have emailed me mug shots of former foster kid's birth parents and sent me info about their color code and court dates. Why can info be accessed for them but not for these?

Anyway, BabyBoy's worker keeps telling me it's up to me to find them and ask to be the safety placement or private adoption person. She has encouraged me to rush to the hospital as soon as the baby is born. She said I should call daily to see if birth mom is a patient at the hospital. I have been randomly calling the local hospital but the nurse took her to a city over an hour away and I hadn't thought of calling there until SW said to. So even though I feel there is nothing more I personally can do, the worker seems to think I should be doing more. Yet she has all the info I need and won't give it to me. Like she is dangling a carrot in front of me, taunting me because it makes her feel more powerful. Or something. I'm sure it's not legal for her to give me the info, I'm just frustrated.

I worry about how it all comes across to CPS as well. Does it seem like I'm wanting a baby, any baby, and not necessarily BabyBoy? They seem to think that kids who aren't in double digits can just up and move without any attachment issues and they've already shown they are more than eager to move BabyBoy. What if my chasing after information regarding the sibling makes CPS suspicious and move BabyBoy? I put nothing past them anymore, absolutely NOTHING.