I'm sitting on the toilet in the master bathroom when I hear someone walking into the master bedroom. I said "Who's in my bedroom?" and Shadow replies "I was going to ask you ..." and then she OPENS THE BATHROOM DOOR AND WALKS IN ON ME. The question was so unimportant that I've forgotten what it was, but she and I had the private/personal space discussion. Again. And now, schools out for Thanksgiving Break. A whole week of no school for Shadow. Again.
With all kids there are teachable moments, and for the most part I love this, but with Shadow it seems the whole day is filled with correcting misinformation and attempting to teach tolerance and the ability to think critically for oneself. For example, we were watching the music awards on TV when she turned to me and asked me to translate what Jay Z was singing. I looked at her for a minute before asking what she meant. She said "I can't speak Spanish." I said "He's rapping. In English. He's not Hispanic." I couldn't think of anything else to say so I just started "translating" ... "rest in peace Bob Marley, Statue of Liberty, long live the world trade ..." when she said "Well, they all look alike. I can't tell them apart." Now, I'm supposed to be the bigger person. The adult is supposed to provide guidance to the child and model appropriate behavior, but good golly miss molly I about lost my cool. We talked about stereotypes and prejudice but I don't think she cared a lick.
There was also the comment from Shadow "I don't know if you know this, but all of Nicole Kidman's movies are in some way demonic."
And "When women dress like that, they are just asking to be raped."
Dear CPS, this is the worst fit ever! In the future please do not call us for this kind of placement. Irritated Beyond Belief, M4$ (<---- the big bucks baby)
P.S. Please enroll her in Feminism 101. Her brain is corrupted by the steady diet of Focus on the Family bullshit.
I haven't yet told Shadow that not everyone in my family is white. Holiday get togethers are going to be interesting this year.
9 comments:
:O
Whoa. Shadow wouldn't last long here either. The first time she met one of my trans friends or came with us to church (where white & sober are the minority), life would get interesting. Good on ya for running far far away from Focus on the Family ideology!
Yikes. Good luck?? - sending you calm thoughts ;)
I...don't...know...what...to...say. She's 18 chronologically but sounds like about five years old in behavior. Wow, will CPS pay for an in depth neuro eval with MRI? Sounds like this girl is way under diagnosed. My own husband (ahhh, but he's neurotypical) would not ever walk in on me in the bathroom. Just...wow. God bless ya and hang in there.
bottom line? i cannot stand her. she needs a HUGE intervention(ass whooping). she has such a WASP chip on her shoulder. i'll take my Courtney(who has eaten 43 corn dogs in 16 days LOLOLOL) over her ANY DAY LOL. can she be enrolled in some kind of multi cultural club or group?
I love your comment about the Focus on the Family bullshit. They should call it Focus on Yourself, because that's what they preach. Maybe this girl was meant to live with you so you could teach her some basic human kindness, empathy and tolerance. My son told me a few weeks ago that he likes black kids okay, but he doesn't like Mexicans. When I asked him why (heck the whole rest of his ESL class is Mexican - we're in southeast TX for goodness sake!), he said that, "Big peoples at school say no like Mexicans." I know he means 'a lot' of people when he says 'big peoples.' So, we had the discussion about prejudice and not lumping everyone all together. He didn't mention it again, so hopefully it's sunk in.
Natalie
adoptyaroslav.blogspot.com
P S -
I get that whole barging into the bathroom thingy, too - except mine is usually a 120lb Labrador, a 65lb pit mix or a 40lb terrier mix. They've even tried to sniff my butt while I'm sitting on the throne. My son thinks it's funny, but at least he stands outside the door and talks to me, instead of coming inside the bathroom.
Natalie
adoptyaroslav.blogspot.com
Oh. My. Goodness.
I am just amazed with all of the "sense" (common or other wise) that Shadow really lacks!!!!!
That's terrible. My adopted daughter is African-American and you wouldn't believe all the grief I've gotten over it. She needs some real guidance and "enlightenment". You are probably the perfect one to give it to her. haha Have a great Thanksgiving!
Blessings
Kim Chrisman
PS: I can't understand Jay Z either:)
We've got improvements on the boundary front, small but I'll take it. The rest is still a work in progress.
Where does C put all those corndogs?
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