What's in a name anyway?

Nine years ago on Veteran's Day weekend, The Husband and I met for the first time. Two months later we were married. Two more months later we finally moved in together. Six months from that he headed to Afghanistan. Seven years and eight months later he went to Iraq as a civilian. I never thought things would go the way they have. It's been a roller coaster ride with lots of trap doors and fun-house mirrors. Like the SERE school of life with certain people putting more emphasis on the RE part while wrapping heads with comforters like you'd wrap a present with paper asphyxiating the package with a neat little thigh shaped bow.

So today seems like as good a day as any to give The Husband a new internet name. I've been meaning to give everyone new aliases that were more descriptive yet anonymous. Afterall, The Daughter may not always be my only daughter and BabyBoy won't be a baby forever. But I need suggestions and that's where you, my dear readers, come in. The Husband looks like a cross between Ed Harris and Mr Clean but can't use those names because they are already taken. Besides it would lead people here who were looking for celebrity gossip or cleaning tips and gosh knows I don't clean. His common nick names include Mr Mensa Knuckle Dragger and Genius said sarcastically when he does something worthy of a Darwin award. Obviously I'd prefer something a little less extreme. Afterall, "That which we call a rose. By any other name would smell as sweet." Ideas?