About BabyBoy and his new sibling

I've intentionally avoided blogging much about BabyBoy mainly because of all the hoopla surrounding the case and blah blah blah confidentiality blah blah, but I know y'all are curious so I'll share.

We're going forward with the adoption. The Husband is home. The SW came out to meet him and she told him if he wasn't on board to send her a wink, a nod, or to call her cell phone when I wasn't around. Apparently CPS didn't believe it was him calling them from Iraq. They thought I had my dad or someone to fake the call. I took that offensively because they are essentially saying they think my character stinks. The SW told me that as soon as The Husband was stateside that the adoption would be done in less than two weeks. It could be done in two days if he was being sent somewhere else soon. She said she had all the paperwork done. Of course she didn't.

So last month she said she would submit for the zero subsidy. This month she said she will submit for the subsidy "soon". I suspect she will never submit for the zero subsidy.

Just like they never submitted for the daycare assistance back when I was working and I recently had to pay the daycare hundreds of dollars because CPS didn't pay. Every month the SW says she will submit for this assistance, every month the daycare says they haven't been paid.

The wording on the ISPs from BabyBoy's birth on for about 6 months said "transfer of custody to relative placement" with contingency being "adoption by current foster family", then when all relatives had been pursued it changed to simply "adoption by current foster family". It was this way for more than a year. Then when I told the old worker that I thought The Husband wouldn't adopt, and the case got changed to the current worker, and they almost took BabyBoy away, CPS changed the wording without even asking The Husband what he wanted to do to "adoption, no identified resource". This change was in haste and when The Husband found out what all was going on stateside he contacted the worker via email and her cell phone to let her know he was on board with the adoption. Yes, I'm leaving out a lot of details here. CPS wouldn't change the wording back though until they met him. Because all the times that all the workers had met him over the past 2+ years didn't count. He wasn't real then apparently. Must have been carrying around a blow up doll? Or I'm a master ventriloquist / puppeteer? Anyway, when he got back home they still wouldn't change the wording on the ISP. They said he has to be home for at least a month before they will change it back to what it was before they tried to take BabyBoy away. They have promised to change it back this month.

At last month's homevisit BabyBoy's worker told me that a friend of a social worker wanted to adopt BabyBoy's in-utero sibling. We had suspected BirthMom was pregnant but didn't know for sure. See, she quit her job and all three phone numbers I had for them have been disconnected. I can not locate them despite multiple attempts. We have had a good relationship but I've never given them my contact info. Anyway, I had a feeling that the worker knew more than she was sharing. I figured the other worker helped her friend make contacts and do what needed to be done in order to adopt BabyBoy's sibling privately. I called BB's worker to ask if this was what was going on but of course she didn't take my call and didn't return my call. Today though she called me to schedule a homevist for this month and Oh, by the way, to let me know that another person called CPS wanting BabyBoy's sibling. This person claims to have been paying the medical cost for BirthMom but said she doesn't know her last name. She intends to adopt privately though and was wanting to know what she needed to do. They ran her name and she has 5 counts of somethingorother against her. Doesn't matter though, if she has those adoption papers then the baby is hers. Or the other familys. Or anyone else that thinks they are adopting the baby and is therefore giving the birth parents money. It's a circus.

At first I was hurt because I couldn't understand why they wouldn't want the sibling to come here with BabyBoy. Then I thought that maybe they are up to something more ... they can get someone to legally adopt for them and then they can get the baby back and raise it. Or maybe they are tired of making babies and loosing them and being poor so they have decided to make some money off this baby. Or maybe they have no intention of staying in this state and are just playing all these people to get medical and housing and food and when birthing time comes they will go over state lines and get to keep the baby. I figure they know they will loose the baby so they have decided to make some money off this one. I just can't understand why they didn't come to me and ask me to do a private adoption. I would have. There is only three places I think this baby needs to be 1) with it's birth parents 2) with the other 4 siblings or 3) here with a sibling.

I fear saying too much because I don't want to seem like I'm so desperate to get this baby. I don't want CPS to think I want a baby, any baby, regardless. They would use that as an example of me not being attached to BabyBoy. It's an awful situation. I've had a good friend who is also infertile ask if she could have this new baby. I've had fellow foster and adoptive parents say with a disapproving face "You don't want another one, do you?" I've had people not look me in the eye when word of the new baby comes up. I've had family members tell me I'm fucking up by pursuing the adoption of BabyBoy much less wanting to open my home to another child. There is still more to this story that I haven't found out yet. Someone knows more than they are telling and I intend to find out what and who and where and why and how, but it takes time and work and I am so busy with other things. Like applying for jobs and grad school and doing an internship and foster parent association shit and volunteering and navigating school politics and household repairs and kid's medical stuff and activities and family birthdays and oh yeah, the holidays are just around the corner. But so is the birth of BabyBoy's sibling.