So in order to be a responsible adult, I set a curfew for my teens. They usually don't like it because I make them be home before my bedtime. Waiting up to let a kid in the house all while they are making out somewhere and then speeding home just isn't the way I want to spend my nights. I need sleep. Because teens are teens, they tend to violate curfew and therefore as a responsible parent, I have to set consequences. For every minute past curfew, they will deduct an hour off the set curfew time. If curfew is at 10pm and the teenager is 5 minutes late, then the next time they go out, their curfew will be 5pm. It only takes once or twice of this before said teen starts arriving home on time. And I get to go to bed and sleep.
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4 comments:
When I was a teenager, I actually was responsible. (It's pathological.) I didn't go out that often and spent most of my weekend nights babysitting, so I didn't ever have a curfew. Well, one night I did go out, with friends who were older than me and most of whom my parents didn't know. I asked my parents for a curfew. (Okay, I asked them when I needed to be home.) All they would tell me was "not too late." That was the most stressful night of my teenager-hood, all thanks to the "not too late." I ended up aiming for home at a little after 10, I think, at which point my parents told me that I could have come home at least an hour later.
I think cell phones are the greatest invention when it comes to kids, because you can keep track of them. I didn't have one for my daughter (who is a wonderful 24-year-old woman now) or my oldest son (age 26). But my two younger boys (19 and 22) have them. The 22-year-old doesn't have a curfew, but is asked to call us and let us know if a)he'll be out past midnight and b)he's going to a different place than originally planned. It's just common courtesy.
The 19-year-old has a curfew. It was 10 on school nights (he works until 9:30 and likes to stop at McD's after) and midnight on weekends. He can have later if he discusses it with us first. But he also has to call us with his plans! (We call him, too.)
He graduates in about 2 weeks, and school is over for him now. He's expected to be in by midnight during the week, but we've yet to set his weekend curfew. He's usually earlier.
While I wouldn't have gone so far as your 5-p.m. penalty curfew, any curfew is better than none! I remember a boy at my house (the kids were much younger) at 1 a.m. and wondering what the heck his mother was thinking.
Thinking of you today.
My penalty is one hour for every one minute. Come home one minute late, be home one hour earlier tomorrow. Come home 5 minutes late, be home 5 hours earlier tomorrow.
I tried doing one minute late, one minute home earlier and it was no big deal for the kids ... they didn't mind being home 5 minutes earlier. They also didn't mind adding up a weeks worth of minutes and then not ever coming home on time. "I'll just come home 45 minutes early next week." But next week never comes, it turns into the next week and then the next and so on and so forth.
The one hour per one minute rule is strong enough to encourage curfew compliance.
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