First of all, I've been vomiting and ass pissing since Sunday night. I thought everyone got over the virus last week, but then I got sick and have been consistently sick for two days.
So last night around 9pm on one of my runs to the bathroom, I text messaged BabyBoy's worker to let her know that I may need to reschedule the homevisit for today. She didn't reply. On one of my morning runs to the bathroom I called her at work and left a message that I definitely couldn't get up long enough to shower much less do a homevisit. My parents kept the kids during the worst of my illness, and it was all I could do to get them fed and into bed Monday night. Anyway, his worker claimed to not have gotten her messages and so she showed up today anyway. I'm down to only ass piss now so it is manageable.
She wanted to give me the bad news before the adoption worker got here. They are taking BabyBoy because my husband is refusing to adopt him. I asked to be given enough time to divorce and then adopt but they said I have to be single for one year after the divorce before I am allowed to adopt. The adoption worker didn't come out because she didn't want to be exposed to the sickness germs, but she is coming on Friday. I have called every higher-up at CPS to make an appointment but nobody is taking my calls and none have called me back. I can get a lawyer, which they hate and I think I signed something in GPS classes saying I wouldn't do that, but it is my only hope of getting to adopt BabyBoy.
His birth parents voluntarily gave up rights ONLY because it was promised that I would be allowed to adopt him. Now they are TPRd so there is nothing they can do to undo it or to prolong the case.
They will have BabyBoy adopted out in 3 weeks, finalized they said in 3 weeks. It is amazing at how fast they can work when they want something.
The adoption worker views him at a 16 month old white male child who still has a chance to bond with a new family. His old worker sees him as bonded to me and The Daughter because he has been here since birth. We love him and he loves us. I am his mommy, there is no doubt in his mind or mine or my daughters or anybody that we know locally that has followed this case. The only people that don't see him as ours is CPS. If they take him, I'm done. They will have lost a good foster home.
I'm just hoping they don't do it on Friday when she comes out. But I think that's what they are planning.
Do You Remember??
3 hours ago
12 comments:
I am so sorry. That shouldn't even be possible. Words fail me beyond that. I hope you can get a lawyer and push. I hope he can stay in the home he loves. This is so sad. I'm sorry.
I am so sorry to hear that. Kids deserve a great home like yours. Keep your head up.
That is wrong,wrong, WRONG! So let me get this straight...you can continue to foster through the divorce and single, but you can't adopt a child you've had practically since birth??? Crazy.
You could be a story on LK now for sure. That is so not fair to the child-take him from a bad home, put him in a good one, rip him away because the not-primary-care-giver who is not even there and might not be there ever, won't sign. CRAZY!
OMG, I am so, so sorry. If there is anything I can do, or if you just need an ear, you know how to reach me!
I was in this same situation years ago with my husband and our then 2 yr old foster son. Our kids and he were bonded and so was I. The attachment psychologist said 2 yr old would never recover if this bond was broken. I would have divorced to keep the kids and me together. Or we would have all ended up in serious therapy. I just don't get it. When is it really going to be all about the child and their best interests.
Damn. Shitballs. That sucks on so many levels: the ass pissing, your son losing the only mother he remembers, and your possible divorce. I am so sorry. This is a royally raw and stupid deal.
It appears that CPS screws us all, bios and fosters. So the bios gave up their rights so YOU could adopt and now that their rights are terminated, they're removing them from your home and putting them somewhere else. Tell me, where does this make any sense? Normally, I'm against foster parents but your case in an exception since the bios wanted you to adopt. I'm sorry this has happened to you but mostly I feel for that little boy. He is not going to have a clue as to what is going on. I wish you guys the best.
I'm sorry. I really am.
omg omg omg,I don't read your blog for a couple of weeks and the world is ending. divorce I thought was a possibility based on your recent post, but losing the baby, omg. my worst nightmare EVER, except it's yours. there are no words, horrible awful terrible suckage. fuck. LAWYER UP, I mean you are going to stop fostering anyway if this does happen, so who cares if you alienate them? You know my email if you want help with a free resume or anything like that (used to be a job placement person before a mom).
WHAT???????? oh, this takes the cake. what a JOKE. i dont even know what to say. was he 4 mos when you took him in? sounds like they just want to cross another couple off the "free baby", 6 year waiting list@@
I've been a reader of your blog for almost a year now. I am SO sorry this is all happening. Why won't your husband adopt him? I hope all goes well and you get to keep him - YOU are his mommy.
Linda, the longer I foster the less faith I have in the system actually taking the child's best interest into consideration. They say they do, but often times they don't. One worker might but the rest of the people who have to sign off on it don't.
T, yes it sucks big hairy monkey balls.
Brenda, You are right. He isn't going to understand what is going on.
Ali, I've had him since he was 2 days old straight from the hospital. He was a tiny 4lbs 10oz wrinkled prune.
Everyone Else, thanks for your support.
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