My sister went with us to the kid's section the other day. On the way there she began to tell me about a new voice she has started hearing. It started after she broke up with that boy who was living with her and using her. The voice's name is Rachel. When she hears Rachel, she says her arms are longer, her hair a different color, etc. I explained that this is a delusion and as long as she realizes it as such and can control it, knowing at all times who she really is, her real given birth name, that she is okay. But at any time if she begins to think she is Rachel all the time, looses control over the voices, or hears them more frequently, that she needs a med change.
Then at the kid's section she began to wave her arms around yelling "This place sucks!" which drew attention from both the adults and the children at the museum. I tried to get her to calm down and go upstairs to the adult exhibits. She refused at first, wanting to go home NOW, but finally left the kids area and went to the adult area. Increasingly I felt uneasy with my sister's behavior so decided to leave early. The kids were not happy about it, but we went to get my sister and leave, only she wasn't upstairs. I asked people if they saw her. I checked the bathrooms. I checked all the exhibits. I looked outside. I looked in the buildings next door. Finally we had to get the museum security to look for my sister. They found her in the main office upstairs, an employee only place, sitting at someone's desk writing a letter from Me to You. They are other voices she hears that have "true love". I was afraid she wouldn't leave without a scene, but we managed to get home safely. I then turned around and took the kids to the library summer reading program, but what I really wanted to do was curl up in the fetal position and rock myself to sleep.
Fast forward to this weekend when we were all camping. My sister had several occasions where she would start freaking out and saying "I'm RealName and I'm in control." She would play "jokes" on people that weren't really jokes. Once she explained why she did whatever and why it was funny in her head, we were able to see what she was trying to do, but it involved so many of the voices that only she can hear that we didn't initially get it. She mumbled to herself almost constantly. She made inappropriate comments. She is sleeping a lot during the day and not so much at night. She is eating massive quantities of food. For example, at one sitting she ate several containers of ice cream. Half gallon containers. The most alarming behavior to me is her aggression. Not all schizophrenics are aggressive, but my sister is. And she likes to be agrressive with me. When she gets like this, I worry about my kids. They know her as their aunt. An aunt they can trust. But all she has to do is hear a voice that tells her to harm someone, or drown someone, or whatever and she'll do it when in this state.
Once again, she needs a med change. Once again, she doesn't think she does.
6 comments:
I am all too familiar with a loved one hearing the voices that tell her to do the bad things. My grandma, I think I have mentioned before, is now in a facility because she is too violent to live in the nursing home. The voices tell her to hurt people, burn things down and scream obscenities. You have my sympathies because I know how hard it is to deal with someone who has such a difficult mental illness. Plus, it isn't like you can force her to take her meds or to get a med change unless you get guardianship. So hard.
Yes, I remember you speaking about your Gma before. Glad she was able to get into a facility at least and not be homeless. I'm guessing that will be what we face with my sister when she gets older. Too bad there aren't nursing homes for the mentally ill.
Actually, she WAS in a nursing home for a long time and she got kicked out. She has been kicked out of so many places, I can't even count. We exhausted every place in our area and she is now three towns away. It sucks but, like you said, at least she isn't homeless. Good luck with getting your sister help. It ain't easy.
Yes I remember that she was in a nursing home. I meant wouldn't it be great if there were specific nursing homes just for the mentally ill. Some flat out turn away mentally ill patients. Where are they supposed to go when they get old and the people who have been taking care of them are even older ... or dead. I'm just thankful my sister isn't a fire starter. I know your family has dealt with some tough stuff. Guess it just prepares us for our kids, right? LOL
OMG that is scary.
Thank you so much for your lengthy comment on my blog. It is very helpful hearing your story. My husband and I are still toying with the idea of adopting. We want to be 100% committed and I don't know if we're able to do that yet. I am on break from teaching this summer, and it's something I'm looking into. I'm not ready to give up the "pregnancy dream" but I do know that we would have joy no matter if we birthed a child or adopted one. I don't know how to start the process, financially either. I know both IF treatments and adoption is expensive and I don't know if we can do both. We will see. It's a decision I am sure we will make within the year....whether to continue or start a new path.
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Wow. That must be scary and frustrating. I cannot imagine. I've never experienced anyone with anything like that, but I am somewhat aware of the medication balancing act. My MIL has moderate depression, it literally took years to get her meds right. And with different stress, age etc. they need constant adjustment. Is this the first lapse she's had in a while or is it a constant up and down?
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