Job Decision

The kids and I spent yet another day at the foster parent resource center. It feels like we're never going to get it completely cleaned and organized. Tomorrow we have to go back because a church youth group (20 preteen boys!) are coming to help. We now have a lot of junk items for the yardsale on Saturday. I don't care if we don't raise a large amount of money, but I'll be glad to see the clutter go.

Fall registration for Gymnastics is tomorrow. We decided that with gymnastics, soccer, basketball, and kindergarten that we would hold off on dance for another year. Even though all of the activities aren't at the same time, it seems like a tad too much for one school year. I can see N in therapy years from now ... my parents wouldn't let me take dance when I was 4/5 and it ruined my life.

The foster kid back to school pool party is Friday. We didn't go to it last year so not sure what to expect this year.

Going to a birthday party on Sunday. It's for a kid of one of P's coworkers. He, the kid not the coworker, is around N's age.

I've applied for some jobs lately. One was as Librarian Assistant for a Public Library one town over from us. They didn't want resumes, but had 8 page applications that were general for all city employees and not tailored to librarians. I got the feeling that the job was already promised to so-and-so's cousin's wife. Or some church friend. Or somebody that wasn't me. The requirements were the ability to read, know how to turn on a computer, and have a HS diploma or GED. Yet, I got no call for an interview. Hey, grammar wasn't a requirement.

The other job I just applied for Saturday night - right before midnight because Sunday was the deadline. It was for a Head Start Bilingual Family Service Manager. Now, I speak Spanish about like a toddler. Meaning I know some vocabulary but I mostly just point and hope someone figures out what I want. *pointing to crotch* El bano goddamnit Donde esta el bano? It's like a game of charades!

This is the second time I've emailed my resume to the HR lady and she hasn't acknowledged receipt either time, so I wasn't holding my breath. But the Head Start Director called me today and offered me the job, only one problem, it's in another county. I applied under the assumption that the job was for either the county in which I reside or one of the ones surrounding me, but nope, it's 1 hour 28 minutes to the north of here. Seventy miles ONE WAY and you know gas is so cheap nowadays. It pays $11 and has some health benefits but not much else. I'm torn. Taking the job and driving all that way will mean putting N in before and after school care because I'll have to leave so early for work that I won't be able to take her to school or pick her up (and Baby Boy will spend an ungodly amount of time - like 11 hours per day - in *ick* daycare *shudder*). I think there is mileage reimbursement for visiting client's homes and Head Start locations, but they won't pay for my gas to drive to work every day. I think spending 3 hours in the van each day would get old very quick, especially since I would also spend all day driving from house to house to school to school. I love my minivan, but I don't want to live in it.

But if I take the job, it would get my foot in the door so to speak, so that I might be considered first when a more local position opens up. Currently Head Start hires within, then hires parents of pupils, then hires off the street. Since I stopped substituting for head start last year, I'm considered "off the street". Not in a hooker kind of way, although come to think of it, I bet it pays better than my current gig. They aren't even hiring subs locally. To me I don't think it's worth $11 an hour, too much personal sacrifices. I just worry what they will think of me if I turn it down. Will they want to hire me later on if something local opens up or will they think I'm a flake and pass me over? Will the day I turn the job down be the day P comes home with official notice of layoffs? Will he be disappointed in me? Will Baby Boy grow up resenting me for putting him in daycare after I spent 4 years staying at home with N?

I have to call her with my decision in the morning. What would you do?

Flower Power

Deciphering the Code

We got our first foster kid May 31st 2007 - before we were done with GPS classes. On June 3rd 2007 I wrote:

True Colors Shinning Through: Breaking the Code

"She's smart" means She knows how to manipulate to get what she wants

"You're open minded" means She has a tongue ring and is sexually active so we hope you don't freak out

"She tells little white lies, occasionally" means She lies like she breathes

"She's had a few other placements, none of the disruptions have been her fault" means You are her 5th placement in less than 2 years

For more than a year now, it seems like we're the only ones willing to say "but what does that really mean?" when a Social Worker is telling us about a potential placement. Then tonight as I was Blog reading, I stumbled upon others who apparently see through the bullshit terminology. I am elated to know that we're not alone.

Check out PFLAG Foster Mom's Translation of Photolistings and Busy Intersection's Interpreting Photolistings.

In all five of our foster kid's cases, we haven't been given case files or photolistings, we've just been given a few details over the phone or in person and then told we have to make a decision, like now. With experience, I now know what is important (for our family) to ask. It is important to ask directly and specifically if the child is now or has ever in the past hurt animals or people or sexually acted towards any children. It's important to ask if the child has any behavioral problems. It's important to ask, although I've had a Social Worker conveniently temporarily forget*, if the child has any medical conditions. It's also important to ask why the kid is in foster care and how long s/he has been there and how many placements they've had, although this is just information to help us better help the child. And I like to know what the child's goal is but I've learned that it doesn't matter what the paper says or what the rules are in regards to the amount of time a child is allowed to remain in foster care without gaining permanency, it doesn't really happen that way.

We don't feel that our family is a good fit for: kids who sexually act out on other kids in the home, kids who kill animals or physically harm humans, kids with RAD or any severe mental or physical issue.

Our family is a good fit though for: teenagers, kids that are pregnant or sexually active, GLBT, and those who have multiple disruptions due to not fitting in the typical local foster family type. Also, babies, I love me some babies. LOL

*It was just asthma, but it was triggered by animals and we have indoor cats, and she came with medication but no inhaler because "she shared inhalers with the bio kid of the former foster parents".

All for Naught

Our kitchen floor is completed and the refrigerator is repaired. We were just starting to get everything back in its place. Then tonight I decided to get caught up on laundry. I put a load of clothes in the washing machine and went to use the restroom. Suddenly P starts yelling my name and N ran down the hallway frantically saying "Mommy, Mommy". I imagined the worse. I thought P had severed a limb or something. Instead, our washer lost it's mind and decided to keep filling with water ... and keep filling with water ... and keep filling with water. It didn't shut off and begin washing; it just kept going and going and going. Like the Energizer Bunny. The water was in the laundry room, the kitchen, and the dinning room before P noticed it. All over our new flooring. Laminate and water don't mesh well. What a mess!

Crazy Clomid, Can't We Be Friends?

To recap:

1990-2000 doctors dismiss my concerns about irregular cycles, painful cysts, horrible acne, hairiness, underweight (98lbs), infertility, etc.

got pregnant in 2001 (weighed 100lbs)
miscarried in 2nd trimester due to Triploidy XXY (horrible experience with military hospital staff)
took Clomid in 2002 (military doctor had me taking it while my husband was deployed WTF?)
husband home, took Clomid again ... nothing happened
next month, pregnant! (weighed 105 to 110lbs)
had gestational diabetes
2003 gave birth via c-section to almost full term & mostly healthy beautiful baby girl
2004 TTC
2005 TTC
2006 TTC
2007 - diagnosed with PCOS, told by OBGYN fertility would miraculously come if I would loose weight - I weighed 136lbs then (in 2007) and I'm now 125lbs (in 2008) and still not breeding
2003-2008 didn't utilize BC, that's FIVE YEARS

Currently: 2008
April began Provera
May 5mg Clomid cd 5-9
June 5mg Clomid cd 5-9
July progesterone tested on cd21 "32.40" whoopee may be pregnant
July HPT on cd31, BFN
July cd32/cd1, visit from AF, miscarriage? normal period?
July cd2 doc says normal period, feel let down, frustrated, sad
July cd3 have intense headache, am irritable, cramping like a MoFo

thinking about skipping clomid this cycle
have to decide before saturday
wondering if i'm tempting fate, was after all, already given one healthy baby
is two too much to ask
it's not like i'm getting any younger
the risk just keep adding on from here on out
but hey, it appears that i actually ovulated last time
that's good news
right?
so why didn't i get pregnant
rabbits are jealous i tell you
so clomid, let's me and you be friends already


*EDITED To ADD:
The Husband went out of town for work, so skipped some cycles, then
November 10mg Clomid cd 5-9
December 10mg Clomid cd 5-9
The Husband back out of town for work, so skip half a year of cycles for 2009

Hotter than a Firecracker on the Fourth of July

We are well over 100 degrees here during the day, it's currently 81 at midnight. The sky has a weird haze and everyone is sneezing like it's allergy season. Hopefully we'll get rain soon and clean up the air.



These are some of the pictures from our trip to the botanical gardens. Editing done via picnik



Tonight was a foster parent meeting. I was trying to describe some of the resource center clothing that I set aside for a yard sale, and I called it "hideous like something from the '40s". Several people whipped their heads around to glare at me. I immediately felt like an idiot. What I was going to say was "hideous with acid wash & puff paint and pom-pom additions" but the lady to my immediate left had on acid washed jeans with a puff painted t-shirt. Wonder why nobody volunteered to help me with the yard sale?



N started gymnastics today. She was very brave. I'm not thrilled with the instructor's helper (but I think it's her daughter so I should keep my big mouth shut) so we'll see how the rest of the week goes. This lady utilizes the school gym and the only other gymnastics place is one city over and never answers the damn phone.

Working Hard for No Money

Wednesday I took the kids and we went to the foster parent resource center to organizine again. I was there for 7.5 hours but P came to get the kids after he got off work. Thankfully there was another foster parent there who helped out for a few hours until she had to go pick up her kids from daycare.

Friday the kids and I went back and worked at the resource center for 4.5 hours. Well, technically the kids were only there for 2 hours because P got off work early and came to get them. I wanted to get everything completed this week, but I just could not touch or inhale anymore rat poop. Just. Could. Not. I was going through the closet in the bathroom and it was pilled high with old bags and boxes of clothing and shoes that had been donated. Some of which were mildewed/moldy from being stored in the bathroom for so long. When I ran across the garbage bag of well, garbage, I said ENOUGH and called it a day.

I was feeling very overwhelmed and was wishing more foster parents would come help. So when the phone rang last night around 9pm with a Social Worker asking if there was anything his preteen church group could do to help at the foster parent resource center, I was elated. They're coming out next week, 20 kids, to help me get that place completed!

P & I spent last night ripping up the kitchen & dining room vinyl flooring, after removing all the furniture, appliances, and cabinets of course. Today we have to cut out the wet moldy parts of the floor and replace them (thankfully the wall didn't get wet therefore isn't moldy). I'm going to spray bleach everywhere, just in case, and after it dries we are putting down laminate flooring (the fake wood stuff). I would love to go ahead and paint the walls while we are at it but I don't think we'll have time. A guy is going to repair the refrigerator for $35.00 so that's a lot cheaper than buying a new one. Meanwhile the fridge is on the back deck, redneck style. At least it isn't full of beer*.

*Growing up in the rural south, it seemed that many people had beer refrigerators either on the porch or under the carport (a garage was a rich person luxury). We lived in a dry city meaning alcohol could not be purchased here. My dad, and many others, would drive over to a wet city and buy enough alcohol to stock their "beer fridge" so they wouldn't have to keep driving back and forth, you know, while drunk.

Chalk It Up

We invited The Cousin over to swim recently. Afterward, while waiting on dinner, he and The Daughter created artwork on the chalkboard wall. Here is his DragonBallZ character:
If you look closely, you can see The Daughter's drawing under the arm of The Cousin's drawing. She adores him. A few days later she wanted to invite him over again so I let her call him. I knew he said no when she began to cry. I wish I could protect her forever.

Leaky Fridge

Recently read Alan Greenspans book The Age of Turbulence: Adventures in a New Worldand another book from the library titled Careers for Kids at Heart and Others Who Adore Children, 3rd edition (Careers for You Series) by Marjorie Eberts (don't bother to read it unless you are a preteen deciding which child-centered career path you wish to pursue).

Recently watched Ocean's Thirteen (Widescreen Edition), Dreamgirls (Full Screen Edition), High School Musical (Encore Edition), and Deep Sea (IMAX).

Refrigerator has been leaking and now there is moldy rotting wood & sheetrock in the kitchen that we intend to replace this weekend and put down new flooring since ours has several rips (that The Husband "repaired" with packaging tape *rolls eyes*) and stains. Hate having to spend the money on this, but taking care of it ourselves instead of claiming it on homeowners insurance will ultimately be cheaper, and it needs to be taken care of before the whole kitchen falls through onto the ground. Gonna be a messy and busy weekend though.

*originally posted at my old site*

School Supplies

I love school shopping. It's probably the only thing I miss about being in school. Luckily, buying for my kids is just as fun.

Standard size school box - 1 $0.97
Friskar brand scissors, blunt $2.74 (because she had to have the "cool pink ones" instead of the plain red .75 cent ones)
#2 pencils (skinny) 1pk $0.97
Crayola 24 ct crayons - 6pks $0.22 x 6 = $1.32
Crayola washable markers, classic colors 3 pks (thick ones no skinny ones please) $0.88 x 3= $2.64
Elmer's glue 4oz - 6 bottles (with orange top, ONLY) $0.88 x 6 = $5.28
Expo dry erase markers 4 asst colors - 1pk $3.97
Pocket folders with prongs, different colors - 6 $0.88 x 6 = $5.28 (we got the durable plastic ones instead of the cheaper paper ones which didn't last through preschool)

Total $23.17

The list says "All supplies can be purchased at school for $35.00")

No thanks.

Dinosaur Footprints

This weekend we visited the botanical gardens in order to view the dinosaurs before they left. Other than it raining on us mid-visit, we had an enjoyable experience.


Allosaurus


T Rex


Maiasaura


A fabulous book about dinosaurs is Wee Sing & Learn Dinosaurs by Pamela Conn Beall and Susan Hagen Nipp. It comes with a CD and the songs go along with the pictures in the book. N loves it and has been singing every word of the songs for years. It not only helps with learning dinosaur names, but also dinosaur facts.

Switching to Blogger

I've been journaling online since 2002 via another place but today I switched to Blogger under a new screen name. I hope to transfer some of my old posts over here, but in the meantime I'm still Under Construction.

Mama Bird and Baby Bird

This is a drawing (on napkin) of a tree with the mama bird taking a worm down to feed the baby bird. By The Daughter, age 4

*originally posted at my old site*