My milkshake brings all the radiologist to the yard

Sometime last year after The Day of Tornadoes, one of my breast implants deflated. I suspected it was leaking for a while, but my OBGYN insisted they didn't leak slowly. He said you wake up one day and BOOM it's deflated. Well, one day after The Day of Tornadoes, I bent over and my tit fell out of my shirt. No lie. It just flopped right outta there. Whee I'm free! But because of all the shit going on in my life (see this post about mah fun bags) I wasn't able to get to a doctor right away. A few months later,

Forty Before Forty

Forty Things To Do Before I Turn Forty
and seeing as how I'm 35 & 1/2, I should probably get a move on

AKA

My Life List, in no particular order

1. Go on safari in Africa
2. Vagabond across the USA
3. See all fifty states
4. Stand under a sequoia
5. See the Grand Canyon
6. Witness the Northern Lights
7. Eat Lobster in Maine
8. Sail down the Mississippi
9. Go parasailing
10. Travel to Italy
    
11. Travel to France
    
12. Travel to Egypt
13. Travel to Greece
14. Go for a hot air balloon ride
    
15. Write a children's book ( i have three board books written but no idea how to follow thru)
    
16. Write/Make a lifebook type of babybook for babies adopted from foster care
17. Publish said adoption baby book
    
18. Publish a Photo Book of pictures from the south
19. Write my life story
20. Publish my life story
    
21. Declutter
22. Write an article for a parenting magazine
23. Make shit and sell it on Etsy
24. Take the kids ice skating
25. Finish the kid's baby books
26. Redesign this blog/website
27. Make a million dollars (right, i should probably get a job first ...)
    
28. Have a hefty retirement fund (beanie babies are still worth something, right?)
    
29. Earn PhD
30. Go horseback riding on the beach (not really feeling this anymore)
    
31. Go on a cruise (but take my own lifeboat)
    
32. Continue to spend a weekend per year hanging with my bitchz
33. Take the kids to Disney every other year
34. Ride on a camel
35. Own a bookstore (or work in a library, i'm good with either/or)
    
36. Be a good mom to my kids (this should have been #1, oops)
37. Send them to Harvard (or wherever they want to go)
38. Build my sister a house, you know with my own two hands
    
39. Hire someone to build myself a house that is more structurally sound, bigger than a shoe box, and is mold free and contains a hidey-hole for tornado weather (you know, everything that my current home is not)
    
40. Try not to die
    

Throwback Thursday: Muppets Edition

So I thought I would start posting pictures from the past on here every Thursday. The past may be circa 1970 or just last year, either way, it's a trip down memory lane. Here I am in corduroy pants and velvet shirt with a feather roach clip in my hair. Oh, and I'm hanging with my peeps, Ms Piggy & Kermit the Frog. That other lady isn't my mom, but I think she was a friend of the family, which usually means someone my dad was fucking on the side. Welcome to my childhood.

Chocolate Oatmeal Cookies

This is the recipe I use for making Chocolate Oatmeal Cookies AKA Boil Cookies or No Bake Cookies. Warning: it's very, very sweet and may send you into a diabetic coma. Even if you aren't diabetic.

Mix:
1 Cup Sugar
3 Tbs Cocoa
1/4 tsp Salt
1/4 Cup Unsalted Butter
1/4 Cup Milk
1/2 tsp Vanilla

Bring to boil on high.
Boil for about 2 minutes, stirring as needed.
Remove from heat and add 1/2 cup oats & 1/4 cup peanut butter.
Stir quickly.
Drop by spoonfuls onto aluminum foil or waxed paper.
Cool & eat.

Long time no see

It's been a while since I've blogged regularly. Didn't mean for that to happen. The more time that went by, the harder it became to know what to say, so let's just start with saying hello. Long time no see.

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